On Study Programs

In an effort to organize my studies, I put together two binders for the Artisan Guild and Initiate study programs respectively.  I'm currently trudging away on Magic 1.  I reviewed the exit standards again and realize that I could probably start working on some of them.  At the same time I'm very insecure in regards to my knowledge on the matter.  I've only finished one out of the three books I've purchased.  I'm nearly finished with a second.  I need to enforce some discipline and scheduling on myself in order to do the meditations in the third book.  I think that if I sped through it without attempting to do the meditations, I would only cheat myself of possible insight and experience.  After all, I did do the first meditation and got a lot out of it.

On a related note, has anyone read Real Magic by Isaac Bonewits?  What did you think of it?

I would like to do more work on my muse essay for the Art SP.  I need to go through my growing Celtic studies library and bookmark every mention of Brighid.  I have a very good idea on what I want to discuss in my essay, but I need more scholarly material.  Speaking of the Art SP, I think my next major book purchase will be an art history text.  I really need to start that...

I sometimes feel less than adequate in the Pagan community.  There are so many people who claim the ability to astrally travel, see visions/auras, and sense energy.  I honestly believe that I experienced accidental astral projection once.  I've been able to see visions in my own mind and firmly believe that I saw a spirit of some sort when I was very, very young.  I can go into trance but it often takes a lot of time.  I can sense my own energies but have a harder time sensing them in other people.  I have, but not always.    When I say that, I mean the more subtle energies.  Like most humans, I'm easily able to sense anger, confusion, distrust, etc...  I know not everyone associates those feelings with energy but I do.  I've never seen an aura.  I sometimes think I'm not very good at projecting energy.  I'm a complete novice in divination.

I worry that I will disappoint the elders in my community.  I worry that I will disappoint the Kindreds.  I worry that I'll down-right suck in the ISP.

The rational side of me says that I'm young and inexperienced; that some of these things will come with time and practice*.  Practice is the biggie for me.  I waste so much time *not* practicing!  My time management definitely needs improvement.  My priorities are sometimes off.  Either that or I'm too easily distracted.  Or, very innocently and rightly, I just want to spend time with my husband.  All the same, I need to make more "me time" for my spirituality.  I need to spend less time online, less time playing games, and less time wasting time.

A question to my Pagan friends - do you ever feel this way?  How do you deal with it?







*I know there are some of you shaking your heads right now.  "She's talking about being rational about irrational things!"  :P

In Which I Reflect on a Book

I finished Practical Magic in the Northern Tradition by Nigel Pennick this evening.  I was really excited about this book at first.  I really was.  As stated in an enthusiastic post when I received it in the mail, I really liked the book he coauthored with Prudence Jones.  I had high expectations; expectations that, past that visually offensive cover, I would learn so much.

Nope.  Not really...  What I thought was a contextual introduction turned into the entire book.  Had I not already read so much about Pagan holidays, symbols, tools, etc, etc, etc, this book would have been wonderful.  Now, I did learn some new things, but they were kind of trivial and/or not culturally specific.  Everything else was subject matter presented in the above linked A History of Pagan Europe.

 Pennick put most of his focus on Asatru despite the book's supposed focus on all of Northern Europe.  It was Odin this, Thor that...  This will be very helpful when comparing Druidism to Asatru, but I didn't learn anything knew about Celtic tradition.  Pennick's often eclectic approach left me baffled and/or frustrated.  He referred to Brighid, the Goddess, as a virgin even though she has a son in the Invasion myths.  He even Wiccanized her with the maiden, mother, and crone/hag deal.  That just isn't the case in Irish lore.

In the end, the book was kind of boring and, in general, a waste of time for me to read.

I shot my first large gun.  The recoil surprised me, causing me to shriek and throw the gun after firing.  Luckily it's only a single shot so the gun was empty!  My complete lack of grace was redeemed by the fact that I actually hit the target - a stationary clay pigeon. 

After that we took a walk along the Mohawk River.  It was wonderful to be outside.  Everything is turning green.  We saw some little fish as well as several invasive zebra mussels on the rocks.  I greeted the river Goddess - I didn't really have anything to offer other than my respect. 

I brought one of my ISP books with me.  The men-folk are playing the new Splinter Cell video game so I might as well take advantage of my time and study!  

Vacation!

I'm officially on vacation!  What am I going to do with myself?  Well besides sleeping in and possibly visiting family, I'm planning to do some ISP and Art Guild SP work.  I have numerous books and articles to read, an essay I'd like to start, and drawings to work on.  I also have my various sewing projects to keep me busy.

I'm really excited about tomorrow.  Tomorrow, dear readers, I'm going to get a massage at Massage Works in Watertown!  As my husband guesses, it's sure to be an excellent start to my vacation!  The massage therapist, Patti, also does reiki.  Down the road I would love to get a combination massage/reiki treatment.  Yes, I know, I received my reiki I attunement and can perform self-treatments...  but really, isn't it nice to have someone else do it too?  My poor back is so achey; I'm terribly excited about tomorrow.  I'll be sure to post a review!

Another book to read (plus some personal thoughts on polytheism)

The third book I ordered for Magic 1 arrived yesterday!  It's called Practical Magic in the Northern Tradition by Nigel Pennick whom you may remember is the co-author of A History of Pagan Europe along with Prudence Jones.  Having thoroughly enjoyed A History, I couldn't wait to start it.  Yay for reading three books simultaneously!  I feel like I'm back in college.  I haven't progressed very far in Practical Magic, and a lot of it has been review, but I'm enjoying it all the same.  I've even learned a few new things.

Pennick is what many would call a "soft polytheist."*  He makes a lot of generalizations about the similarities between cultures, which sometimes annoys me, but he also points out their unique differences as well.  In the introduction he says "...what is important is the essence, not the form, and that while the corresponding deity of another culture may have a considerably different form, its essence is the same"(12).  I must be honest, I have a love/hate relationship with soft polytheism.  Some days it makes a bit of sense, while others it seems too simplistic given the remarkable diversity of the universe.**  All the same, I have a lot of respect for Pennick as a writer and researcher and look forward to learning more from him!





*"All gods are one God, and all goddesses are one Goddess, and there is one Initiator." - Dion Fortune.


** When it comes down to it, I'm more of an agnostic hard polytheist pantheist.  My experiences, as well as the lore I am most drawn to, lead me to believe in many, individual beings.  I have to be a bit agnostic because who really, really knows how the universe works?  The pantheist bit comes from my belief that, even if there are multiple deities, there exists a ubiquitous, unifying energy.  Based on my own experiences, observations, and studies, this energy is very powerful as far as creation and destruction go, but has no consciousness as we experience it.  It's just energy/chi/magic/the Force, and it moves through us and the Kindreds.  My belief is that some beings have more access to and/or understanding of this force, hence the power of deities compared to us.

New Book!

One of the other books I ordered for Magic 1 came!  It's called The Magic Arts in Celtic Britain by Lewis Spence.  I'm excited to have another book on Celtic magic to read because the first book, Irish Celtic Magical Tradition, while very good, also has meditative practices in it that the author encourages the reader to do several times before moving on.  I've been doing the first one but have only had a significant amount of success once.  The other times I've either fallen asleep or made it to the outside of a city but couldn't get in.  The one time I made it into the city, I spoke with one of the teachers of the Tuatha de Danann and this really helped solidify my current understanding of the Gods.

I've yet to start The Magic Arts in Celtic Britain but it's supposed to more broad, whereas the other book focuses on the first and second battles of Moytura.  

On the creative front I did a bit of sewing today.  I started to take in a button down shirt that my husband received as a gift.  It's a couple sizes too large for him and I've been meaning to experiment with it.  I also took a couple of his old button downs that are now too small and started a skirt inspired by a Thread Banger tutorial.  I just have to hem it and I'll have a fun skirt to wear in the warm weather we've been experiencing!

I haven't been drawing much recently.  It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I keep forgetting!  I'm suddenly pulled back into my sewing so other creative pursuits are on the back burner.  I've been thinking about what I could do for my still life and I think I may draw my traveling altar with all the items spread around it.  That could be neat.

Bits and Bobs on a Tuesday Night

First off, a doodle I've been toying with tonight.* I was experimenting with some charcoal. Not really done but thought I'd share.

I was really hopeful to get one of my books on magic in Northern Europe today. I can't wait to start the ISP! In the meantime, I'm slowly working my way through some online drawing tutorials while coming up with sources for my muse essay.

In other news, I decided not to attend the Watertown CUUPS ritual tonight. I'm really congested and I can't participate well in a group meditation when I feel like I can't breathe. I hope they enjoy themselves!

Finally, I thought I should mention that I found my missing oath ring! It was hiding in a laundry basket. My hand feels less naked! Out of curiosity, do any of you have spiritually significant jewelry? What is it, where do you wear it, and what is the symbolism behind it?







* For my lj friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/

The Game Plan

As you saw in my last post, I'm working diligently on the Artisan Guild study program.  I want to get into the Initiate Study Program as well and was suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the possibilities.  Kirk gave me some perspective that really helped.  I need to find a balance between the practical/experimental and the academic.  This goes for my art studies as well since I'm doing them at the same time.

I was thinking of doing Divination 1 for the ISP.  I may yet start the research components of it, but I don't want to start the journal until I've created a new set of ogham and I'm planning to do that as part of my Artisan Guild study program.  So here's what I'm thinking (bear with me if this seems complicated - it makes sense to me!):

1) Submit my working outlines to the Art Guild preceptor.
2) Use some online drawing tutorials to refamiliarize myself with perspective, scale, shading, etc...
3) Continue sketching and, eventually, create the necessary pieces for my portfolio.
4) By then I can start "Technical Competence" requirement 3 - "Single Ritual Piece," aka my new and improved ogham.
5) Then I can use the ogham to practice divination for Divination 1.

In the meantime!

1) Start Magic 1.  I just ordered a few books to help me complete this portion:

•  Practical Magic in the Northern Tradition
  Nigel Pennick
•  Irish Celtic Magical Tradition: Ancient Wisdom of the Battle of Moytura
  Steve Blamires
•  The Magic Arts in Celtic Britain  Lewis Spence

I'm really excited to dig into these!  

2) By the time I finish Magic 1, I'll be able to do Magic 2 and overlap the journaling with Trance 1.

3) Hopefully, after all the above work, I'll be able to start my divination journal at this time.  

4) Throughout all of this I'll be studying Irish, working towards the goals outlined in Indo-European Language 1.

So, yeah.  I have a *lot* of work ahead of me.  How exciting!  Seriously, I love this sort of stuff.  (Yes, I miss college already!)

Happy Sunday, readers!  Did you remember to spring forward?

North Country Goes Green


I wanted to start off by apologizing if I sounded *really* negative about the Watertown Irish Festival.  It really wasn't that bad.  I was mostly annoyed by the difficulty we had finding parking and how crowded the building was.  I tried to say this last night, but I must have been too tired to finish the thought.  (Wow that really reflects well on my blogging, doesn't it?!)  Utica, as I was saying, has their Irish Festival on some fairgrounds which offer ample space for vendors, performances, and various cultural activities.  There's also a lot of parking.  I understand that Watertown wants to have the event closer to St. Patrick's Day, but that means it's cold, possibly raining, and probably muddy out.  Utica waits until around Lughnasadh, the traditional gathering of the Celtic tribes.  This means it's usually pretty comfortable out and the fairgrounds make sense.  So...  either Watertown should plan their festival later in the year or find a larger building with better parking.   Otherwise, do go!  If you're a proud Irish descendant, it's always fun to celebrate your heritage, and the money is going to a good cause - Project Children, an organization that aims to promote peace between Protestant and Catholic Ireland.

So, back to my regularly scheduled blogging*.

Art Guild and Initiate Study Programs


As you know, I'm working on the above study programs.  I've only just dipped my big toe in.  I'm starting to sketch again.  I'm thinking of making drawing my second medium.  My friend Parallax encouraged me to look to something less three dimensional.  A lot of the sewing I do, dolls and costumes, a lot like sculpting.  While I still want to learn more about sculpting with materials such as porcelain, furthering my drawing skills could be very helpful in the design aspect of sewing.  I studied drawing in high school and college but, unfortunately, a lot of my previous work has gone missing.  It's the unfortunate side of frequently moving.  I found some of my old supplies and have started to study things and sketch them.  Last night my husband's Xbox controller graciously modeled for me.  This morning I started to sketch my tea cup.

As far as sewing goes, I've been busying myself this morning by taking apart old garments that don't fit or are worn out.  I'm going to repurpose the fabric in some other sewing projects eventually.

The book I've been reading, The Rites of Brigid Goddess and Saint, has given me a lot of ideas for my essay on her relationship to the arts.  I've learned a lot already, especially in regards to the folk practices that existed throughout Celtic countries.  I'm also inspired to learn more about Irish textiles.  I know they used linen and wool most of the time.  I've been researching their clothing and it's really fascinating.

In regards to the Initiate Study Program, I'm trying to figure out where to start.  It's kind of daunting when you get right down to it!  At the very least, I want to get back into a more regular meditation routine.  As I was telling my mentee, I have an on-again-off-again relationship with meditation.  I feel that it's vitally important to my health and spiritual relationship to the kindreds, but my dedication comes and goes in waves, usually interrupting by my stress and energy levels.  Learning how to get past that so that my meditation is just as uninterrupted as my daily devotional: that is my goal for the ISP.  I need to develop some sort of schedule.

ADF Store


In other news, the ADF store, despite the message on the home page, is once more opened for business! They have a large assortment of publications, jewelry, and clothing.  I'm thinking about getting a hoodie.  I've heard that Wellspring is cold at night, and I could use a nice warm sweatshirt.





* Actually, my blogging is not scheduled.  It's sporadic and seems more frequent on the weekends.

My ISP Intention Letter

Just in case you were curious.



1: What draws you to the path of Initiation within ADF?
When I stumbled upon ADF it was during a time that I felt I was in a sort of spiritual limbo. I knew that Paganism was the right place for me but the generality of the term was not enough. I had left Wicca due to academic dissatisfaction. After finding ADF, I thought about its message for several months before joining, and even then I waited several more before seriously starting the Dedicant Program. I didn't want to jump in – I wanted to wait and make sure that this was right for me. The more I meditated on it, the more I realized how right it felt. I recognized a calling from the ancestors and the Old Ones of Ireland. I began my journey through study and, even before I had finished the Dedicant Program, I knew that I would want more.
Once I completed that first step I took some time off from academics and essay writing to accomplish a few other things in life and to think about what I wanted next in my Druidic studies. I did not want to jump into anything I wasn't truly called to.
After a lot of deep thought I came to the conclusion that I should take a serious step towards greater involvement and greater knowledge of the Kindreds. Although I am a Dedicant I realize that there are many things left to learn. The Dedicant Program has helped me find a home within ADF and I am beginning to satisfy the academic side of spirituality I so craved. However that was only the beginning of my journey and I am aware of my weaknesses. I find myself desirous of improvement, especially in regards to the spiritual side of religion – the mysticism. I realized that, having dedicated myself to this religion, it is important for me to continue learning, growing, and improving myself. Druidism has become so important to my life that I want to show my elders and the Kindreds my commitment to its beauty. I feel that taking the path of initiation will help me to grow, learn, and give back to the Kindreds and my community.
2: What does being an Initiate mean to you?
Being an Initiate means that I am committed to Druidism and to the Kindreds. It means that I have a desire to learn more. It means that I seek inner improvement. As an Initiate, I would take the lessons I learned and, to the best of my capabilities, give back to others through ritual, teaching, and support. This brings me to community. Taking this step towards greater involvement means that I will grow in intimacy with my spiritual community, especially in fellowship with others who are working to develop a modern, Druidic "current."
3: What services do you hope to provide to your community with this training?
I am hopeful to provide for my community in many ways. I recently started to become more involved with ADF. I have submitted a few pieces to Tribeways and am now an editor for Oak Leaves. It is my hope to contribute more to these valuable publications and I have no doubt that my work in the Initiate Study Program will inspire me to produce essays fit for sharing with others.
In addition to producing more material for ADF, I am interested in taking on more responsibilities within my grove and providing more support for the senior Druid. When I first began attending Muin Mound I was very quiet. After awhile, I was invited to participate in ritual in small ways. When I completed my DP, Skip encouraged me to call to the Gods in ritual. I felt honored to be asked and, once I had done it, I found myself feeling closer to the Kindreds and to the grove. I would like to do more, and feel that further study would help me. Practice with trance and meditation would aid me in leading the Two Powers. Divinatory studies would give me confidence to take omens. Perhaps one day I will even lead a ritual for the grove.
Finally, I am opening up to the idea of teaching. Although I know that I will always be a student, I have found a confidence in myself and recognize that I do have knowledge and skills. As I am a teacher in a public school, teaching is part of my identity. I enjoy doing it and would be open to helping others complete their Dedicant Programs, and perhaps lead workshops at festivals. Perhaps one day I will even become clergy. Becoming an initiate would help me refine my studies and skills so that I would be better prepared to help others in these ways.

Happy Times!

Three things to mention before a busy evening:

1) Spring!  Spring!  Spring!  The sun is shining, the earth is getting warmer, I hear birds singing, and I see buds on the trees!  (I'm sorry if this exceeds my bubbly quota.)

2) I'm actually going to go to a CUUPS meeting tonight.  I'm dragging my poor husband because I'm nervous about going by myself.

3) I was officially accepted into the Initiate Study Program!  EEEE!  I need to order more books!