Ancestor Worship

I was going to go on an adventure today in the forests around Watertown.  My plan was to follow the map made by my grandfather to find my ancestor from Ireland who settled in this area.  But it's been rainy on and off all day.  Normally that wouldn't deter me, but my grandfather really wanted a photo of me and the headstone.  Truth be told, I wanted to take pictures anyway, but the wet weather is not good for my husband's nice camera.  I also wanted to take the video camera and film it.  Same issue - rain and a video camera are probably not a good mix.  It would have been nice to visit my ancestor's grave near Mother's Day, but c'est la vie.  I'm hopeful for next weekend.  I would really like to go before the weather gets too humid and buggy.  Not to mention, my grandfather instructed me that it gets very overgrown where the graves are so once things really start to grow, it will be very difficult to locate.  Failing spring, there's always late fall.  It would be really appropriate to go there around Samhain.  I'd love to build a small cairn and leave some flowers as an offering.




[ For my LJ friends, please visit me at: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ ]

Website Envy and Other Things

I felt really ill yesterday due to hormonal issues.  I accomplished nothing after work.

I don't feel fully restored tonight, but I've already been more productive than yesterday!  I did some work on a doll and did a quick ritual to promote healing in the areas surrounding the oil spill.  CedarLight Grove is encouraging everyone to take part, even if it's just through meditation.

Speaking of CedarLight Grove, do they not have an amazing website?  I hate to say this, because I'm very proud of my grove otherwise, but I totally have website envy.  Ours looks really out of date...  Heck, even some of the information is old.  I don't even want to link to it right now because it's kind of embarrassing...  I really want to offer Skip a hand but, at the same time, I don't want to step on any toes...  Maybe he's just been really, really busy with ArchDruid business and, now that he's "retired," he'll have more time for that?    I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

In other news, I'm trying to clean the house.  My family is visiting this weekend and hubby and I have been so lazy!  Despite the existence of a designated "art room," we tend to bring most of our projects into the living room.  I think the problem is a lack of surface area in the art room.  I'm going to be keeping my eyes open for a table to put in there.  Maybe that will help?

[ For my LJ friends, please visit me at: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ ]

I spent some time with my family driving through the Otsego County today.  It's always nice to see different areas in the state.  I've been there a few times as a child/young adolescent, but not recently.  Upstate NY is so beautiful.  We drove by glimmering lakes, sprawling wetlands, emerald pastures, and numerous content looking cows (which always makes me happy!).  I got to hand feed a pair of geese which was fun but intimidating at first.  They were domesticated but I know they can be quite mean when they want to be.

Still, it was nice to return to our home in the North Country.  I'm finding myself more and more content up here.  Watertown has grown on me quite a bit.  Clayton is wonderful and has so many cultural activities.  We're really not that far from the fun in Syracuse.  There's the beautiful Thousand Islands with plenty of swimming and boating.  Oh, and there's a little thing called Canada literally a hop, skip, and a jump away (not that we've taken advantage of that proximity yet!).

Tomorrow I'm hoping to get into the woods and clean up some of the litter that's there.  I'll do it in honor of the land Goddess.  I feel her all over NY and love exploring her many features.

I shot my first large gun.  The recoil surprised me, causing me to shriek and throw the gun after firing.  Luckily it's only a single shot so the gun was empty!  My complete lack of grace was redeemed by the fact that I actually hit the target - a stationary clay pigeon. 

After that we took a walk along the Mohawk River.  It was wonderful to be outside.  Everything is turning green.  We saw some little fish as well as several invasive zebra mussels on the rocks.  I greeted the river Goddess - I didn't really have anything to offer other than my respect. 

I brought one of my ISP books with me.  The men-folk are playing the new Splinter Cell video game so I might as well take advantage of my time and study!  

Looking for a good book for your Pagan child?

I came across a childrens' book today and, after flipping through it, I couldn't pass it up for my growing collection of young Pagan literature.  Any parents/educators should be familiar with the hugely successful "Magic Tree House" books.  I see second and third graders reading them all the time.  This book, entitled Leprechauns and Irish Folklore, by Mary Pope Osborne and Natalie Pope Boyce, is "a nonfiction companion to" a fictional book they wrote called Leprechaun in Late Winter.  I read all 109 pages of the companion in an hour or so.

What's so impressive about this book is how open-minded and scholarly it is.  While the authors don't discuss the evolution of Lugh to leprechaun, they do briefly discuss the Tuatha De Danann.  There's a whole chapter devoted to the modern history of Irish folklore.  It features sections about Douglas Hyde and Lady Gregory, for example, and even introduces the subject of British occupation.

Different spirits are discussed, such as the trooping fairies, pookas, and clurichauns.  The authors give examples of how people have/can befriend the good folk, as well as how to defend against them.  All the examples are consistent with the lore and folklore studies I've been reading.  The selkies have a section too but are called merrows (or múir ógh for sea maiden).  Speaking of Gaelic, the Irish is pretty accurate as far as I can tell with my novice understanding.  Children reading will learn about the filí and raths for instance.  I love that the authors used actual Irish!

My only real complaint is that the Druids are presented only as "wise men" (73) rather than men and women.  The book sometimes relies too heavily on the more modern idea of diminutive winged fairies but makes up for it by explaining that they can appear however they want.  Otherwise I highly recommend it for Pagan parents, especially those with Irish hearth cultures.    It's very well written, contains beautiful illustrations and photographs, and even includes a section with further reading and research tips for youngsters to follow!  Rather than calling a belief in fairies nonsensical, the book leaves it up to the reader to decide for him or herself what to believe.  I really appreciated that bit of spiritual tolerance / allowance for magic.

Exploring Watertown and Sewing a Skirt

I had a lovely day with my husband and parents yesterday.  I showed my parents the Paddock Arcade, where I broought my mother Moontide Arts, the New Age shop, while the men waited outside.  She really loved all the clothing there.  We also went to some boutiques on Court St. like the fair trade/thrift shop and the new "Spinning Wheel."  It was nice to walk around the city on such a gorgeous day.  I bought myself a sun dress, a locally made soy candle, some incense, and a dragon soap dish for the bathroom*.  We had lunch at The Mustard Seed where my mum bought me some yummy vegan cookies.  Later I served my family a homemade meal of shepherds pie, bread, and deviled eggs from the local farmers.  My mum provided the wine and my dad brought us some dill mushrooms.  Mmm!

Hubby and I are having a fun day today.  We went outside to throw a football around, then walked our ferrets which was fun.

I finished assembling my sleeve skirt**.  It was super easy.  My husband had some button-down shirts that didn't fit him.  Most of them are going to charity but I selected a couple to construct this fun and simple piece***.

I have to iron it again but I'm happy with it.  I was thinking of adding some sort of trim but hubby thinks it looks fine as is.  I may add some jingle bells but we'll see...






* Some of you may think that's awfully kitsch.  Just remember that taste is relative!
** I got the idea from this Thread Banger tutorial.
***For my lj friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/

Visiting for Easter

My parents want to visit next weekend!  I'm very happy and excited to see them, but the situation makes me laugh.  They were talking about going out to eat somewhere but I suggested making dinner.

"But it's Easter!  We don't want you to have to work."

Oh, my silly if well-meaning parents.  I explained, for the millionth time, that I don't celebrate Easter and that I wouldn't mind making them a nice dinner so that they don't have to work or spend lots of money on their special holiday.  They deserve it and I've been meaning to make them a nice dinner since moving up here!  We have a Cracker Barrel in Watertown and, ever since discovering it, my mum has been addicted to visiting us and going there for dinner.

As some of you know I've recently given up dairy, making me an ovo vegetarian.  I'm trying to eat more local when it's available, so I'm only eating eggs from local farmers I trust.  In other words, when eating out, I'll be a vegan.  My mother is concerned I won't get enough protein so I'm excited to show her what I can do.  My father is surprisingly more supportive.  Although not a vegetarian, he's been trying to give up/limit his dairy for various reasons.

One of my new favorite things to make is shepherds pie.  I make it just about every week using a haul of root veggies from Doxtater's Farners Market and a mix of peas, mushrooms and, occasionally, tofu.  Recently I've been favoring the mushrooms in this recipe.  I think that will be the main dish, along with some homemade bread and some sort of green.  Maybe a few deviled eggs to celebrate the spring.  I'm not sure about dessert yet...  I have some frozen strawberries so maybe I could do something with them.  Hmmm...maybe pound cake with strawberries?

Where would we be without our freezers?  Seriously, I feel so dependent on that and my refrigerator.  This summer, I really want to do more canning and, maybe, get a dehydrator.  My soon-to-be brother-in-law has one and it works amazingly well.  When I think about how my ancestors kept their food, it's really amazing to me, and I can understand why spring and summer were so celebrated.

So what about you, dear readers?  Do you have Christian family members celebrating Easter?  Are they including you in their celebration?

Ancestors

When we look back at our past,  it's often easy to see the obvious sign posts we passed on our way to the present.  I'm one of those who believes that I was always a Pagan - I just didn't realize it until the age of 17 or 18.  My father raised me to be respectful of fire, an independent thinker, and a survivor.  My mother raised me to be a third generation feminist, to believe in magic, love nature, and appreciate the world around me.  They both taught me how to be creative.  They planted the seeds of animism and nature worship in me.  The Catholicism they raised me in, with its archaic rituals and saints, acted as a gateway to polytheism.  My mother kept a small altar to St. Theresa of the Roses in her room, prayed to St. Francis to protect animals, and encouraged me to ask St. Anthony for help whenever I lost something.   Though conversion can naturally have a certain amount of uncertainty and fear attached to it, I'm sure it helped make praying to the Old Gods easier.


  My Catholic, genealogy-obsessed grandfather would probably never understand if I attempted to tell him how much his interests impacted the conversion I went through in my late teens.  Only, it would take me a few years to understand the importance of ancestors.  As I studied Wicca, I thought of my ancestors as much as I would in Catholicism.  They came before me.  Some of them lived a long time ago practicing a foreign, ancient religion and I had a vague idea that this was somehow important spiritually.  They died.  They went somewhere else.  Wicca and Catholicism honored them once a year - Samhain or All Souls Day.  Pick your faith and pick your holy day.


Druidism looks at ancestors a bit differently than Wicca.  We strive to remember them daily.  We venerate them.  We may even set up altars to them - and not just on Samhain (when we believe the ancestors are able to return to this realm for a time).  Their importance to us lasts all year long.  Many of us believe that, given their connection to us, ancestors are sometimes more concerned with our wellbeing than the Gods.  The Gods may be busier than the ancestors.  Ancestors may be in the Otherworld/Spirit World most of the time, but I and others believe we share some sort of emotional/psychic link with them.

   I've never asked my grandfather why he's so interested in genealogy - I really should.  I suspect he would say something about how the past is important because it's where we come from.  I agree.  However, I'm going to bet that it would end there.  Maybe -maybe- he has some spiritual ideas about it as well.  Maybe he looks forward to meeting them in heaven, impressing them with what he knows, and interrogating them for all the missing links.  Why have I become interested in it?  I feel that our ancestors are connected to us spiritually.  They want to help us and, maybe, they've "been there and done that" and don't want to see us make similar mistakes.  Grandparents care about their children so, if you believe in an afterlife, it makes a lot of sense that a great, great grandparent would care about you as well.  To our ancient ancestors, family and tribe were extremely important.  They meant survival.  We're linked to them - perhaps they're even in us.  Perhaps we are them reborn.  I have small intuitions about these things but, in the end, I must remain largely agnostic.

Still, it's strange how the ancestors reach out sometimes.  Over the Yule/Christmas season, I visited my family near Utica.  I made a point to visit my grandparents and I found out that my prolific grandfather was working on yet another history book - this one more personal than the rest which investigate the annals of small, Upstate NY towns.  He showed me the massive pile of pages chronicling his research on our ancestors - my ancestors on my father's side.  We talked for some time about it.  All these years he's been talking about the earliest recorded male in our family, John, and suddenly I started to learn about his wife, Susan(a).  Why hadn't I ever thought about her before?  At the time, he told me where she was from but I wasn't familiar with it - I only knew that it was in Northern Ireland.  (That's where John met her while he was serving military time in British occupied Ireland.)

A month went by since learning of her.  The other night I decided to email my grandfather to see how his project was going.  I also wanted the name of Susan's hometown for further research.  Today, in the mail, I discovered a CD version of the book.  Can you imagine my amazement at receiving such a gift a few hours after inquiring?  It is as if we were on a similar wavelength or Susan was guiding us.  Here it all was - every known record of my family, including my most recent Irish foremother.

Here she is, Susan (at some point she dropped the "a" at the end of her name).  At least, this is believed to be the only photo of her. *

She looks so ghostly in the blotchy, black and white photo, but it's not a fearful feeling for me.  It's more like...  I sense her looking back at me through the ages.

The more I read, the more the pieces click into place.  She's from Armagh which, according to what I've been reading, was the ancient capital of Ulster.  Ulster!  To someone who is enamored with ancient Ireland, that's a big deal.  I'm not about to spout nonsensical claims of being related to Cúchulainn or anything daft like that - it's simply exciting to find some small connection to the place I've been reading about, loving, and yearning to see.  I can claim some small connection to that magical land!

What makes the story even more interesting to me is that Susan and John immigrated from Ireland to Canada and, form Canada, settled in Watertown, NY - meaning they lived around my new home turf!  My grandfather found her gravestone a few years ago.  I intend to find it myself this summer.  I would also love to go to Armagh when my husband and I finally get to Ireland.  I would love to bring a stone back and build a small cairn on her grave.  Would my presumably Christian ancestor appreciate veneration from a Pagan descendant?  Who knows.  I remain agnostic about the afterlife and whether or not it transcends religion or accommodates it all.  Perhaps she would just be happy to have a bit of her home turf and some attention from someone who still finds her wisdom important.






* LJ friends, check my blog at http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/

Visiting the tribe, traveling altars, and study programs.

We took the weekend to visit some of our tribe in Utica. We spent a majority of it with my parents which was lovely. We had a belated birthday dinner for my father and watched a couple movies with them. We also spent some time with some friends/in-laws. I'm not sure what to call them now. Friends? Family? Both? I like calling people close to my heart my tribe but only a handful of people don't look at my cross-eyed when I use that expression. All the same, hanging out with loved ones was very enjoyable. The only downside is that we missed an invitation from our neighbors to come over and play cards. They seem like nice people and are all in a similar life stage. We keep missing their social gatherings due to previously planned engagements or lack of foresight. (The last time we found out about a party we had already showered and settled down for the evening... Thus we didn't really feel like doing anything else.) I don't want to come across as flakes to them and I would *really* like to make some friends up here.

Anyway, going down to Utica made me realize how much I need a traveling altar. I'm adding that to my list of projects now! I did a lot of my devotional work in my mental nemeton (although I did fall asleep one night...) It worked but I would have liked the altar to help me focus.

Speaking of creating a traveling altar, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the purpose of undergoing the Artisan Guild study program. In addition to learning more about art history, theory, and methodology, one of the goals is for students to develop a "personal integration and understanding of the arts as spiritual practice" (from the Study Program). This is what I feel I truly need. I am already aware that artistic expression is very important to me. Creating is a magical practice and the end result is something that expresses my spirituality, love of life, and, quite often, my love and awe of the Kindreds. I'm realizing that I want to better tap into that energy. Part of that will come, I'm sure, through a greater understanding of how my ancestors created things. But I would also like to develop rituals that become part of my personal religion - rituals that nourish my inspiration, further bond me to my muse and patroness, and make art even more of a ritualistic part of my life.

With these goals in mind, I am hopeful to begin the study program soon. In addition, I am also hopeful to begin the Initiate study program. I need to finish my letter of intent. I'm a little nervous about submitting it, but I know that, even if my elders don't think I'm up to the challenge yet, I will have ample opportunity to improve and reapply. I'm tenacious and stubborn when I want to be. Growing in my spirituality is important to me and, as an academically minded person, study and knowledge motivate me.

My husband and I went to Muin Mound last night to celebrate Imbolc with the grove. The ritual was held outside in negative three degrees weather! Now I feel like a hardcore Pagan! Last year we did a lot of rituals inside because of the snow/cold and then a surplus of water and mosquitos in the nemeton. A lot of people were feeling disconnected so we vowed to go outside for ritual more. Thank the Gods it wasn't windy. My poor toes, even in my new cozy boots, were so red by the time we got inside. The ritual was definitely faster than usual, but it was somehow powerful and meaningful at the same time. Huddling close to the fire, I felt a more intense gratefulness for Brighid and her fire. I also felt the blessing of community, which was interesting because the omens reflected this.

Before and after the rite, actually, I felt better bonded with my grovies. We made Brighid crosses and chatted before the ritual. I'll have to take and post photos later. (My husband made a triforce from the Legend of Zelda Games out of wheat.) After the ritual was the potluck and more socializing. Phoenix showed me her new art studio and we talked for some time about arts and crafts. Skip and I talked about training programs. He's happy that I'm becoming more active on the forums and chats. He also showed me a photo of he and the other previous Arch Druids naked (backside only) and covered in body paint. LOL! Jen, Candy, Skip, and I talked excitedly about Wellspring this year. Jen seems quite excited that we'll be there and in the Muin Mound camp this year. I am stoked.

Community is important to me. That's part of why ADF speaks to me so. It's about family and coming together to learn and worship. Muin Mound is starting to feel like a spiritual family to me. They are so welcoming and inclusive of both myself and my husband. Such reassurance couldn't have come at a better time now that MVPN has gone through such a change.

Today the snow falls thick and fast. Another winter day in the North Country. I am grateful to my own resourcefulness and Brighid's protection for the shelter and warmth I have. I pray that my husband makes it home from work safe. I think our grocery shopping and laundry chores will have to be put on hold today,,,