Personal Growth

Today was a stressful day.  It was, as I told my husband, the Monday of Mondays.  Getting to work was not difficult, but once I was there it was one thing after another.  There was a lot of absenteeism today.  Many people are out with whooping cough which is kind of uncomfortable.  I took my lunch break to run some errands.  I sent my grad school application off which was good.  The rest is in the hands of the administrators and the Gods. I then took some time to make what I thought would be a quick business call.  It turned into a very long and stressful exchange, but supposedly everything was rectified.  A second time.  Gods willing, everything is fine and I will get my bloody certificate of authority so I can legally sell at the upcoming craft show!  Everyone was very kind, patient, and helpful so I can't fault them too much...

I've come to accept that it's going to take me awhile to finish my Initiate Study Program.  Hell, it took me at least a year to delve into my DP, and three years after that to finish.  I took my time.  Who can blame me?  I was working on my first degree while working part time and maintaining various hobbies.  Working full time while attending grad school?  I know I'm going to have my hands full.

I am finding myself less resentful and guilty for my limited Druidic studying.  I do what I can.  I do my short daily devotionals, I pray, I make offerings to Brighid when I sew, and I do my weekly ritual complete with ogham reading.  I practice bits of kitchen magic here and there.  I try to make time for meditations and walks in the woods.  I listen to Pagan music and podcasts.  I alternate fiction with Pagan studies when I read before bed.  I get in touch with my inner self and the spirits through my art.  That is how I am living and experiencing Paganism now.  Do I feel like I could do more?  Sure.  But I'm not beating myself up over it now.


( For My LJ and FB Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

When Magic Doesn't Go as Planned

Sometimes magic doesn't go as planned.  Sometimes we aren't as specific or focused as we need to be.  Sometimes the spirits have other ideas.

Thus it went with me last night as I prayed to the Cailleach for such a blast of winter that travel would be impossible and people would have to cancel school.  I just wanted a day to myself...  Thanksgiving vacation was so rushed and busy with the traveling and socializing...  I enjoyed it immensely, but now I'm behind on housework, sewing, and my grad school application.  To top it off, there is some extra event after work hours that I must take part in.  I just wanted some me time...

And that's what I got when I woke up this morning.  I am stuck here and unable to get to work.  Just me.  Nothing else was cancelled.  I was forced to  take some time off work until someone can help me reach my car which is stuck inside a frozen garage.  

I should have thought twice before praying to the cold Cailleach for assistance...  Then again, I got what I wanted... just not how I wanted it.  Now I am forced to miss some work and look like a helpless twit.  Such is magic.

Should I pray for help to come faster?  Nah...  At least I have some me time...

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Magical Efficacy

Check out this amazing blog post over at "Inciting a Riot."  It's all about the public's misunderstanding about magic, and the Pagan community's own relationship to magic - specifically why everyone isn't doing it and why magic isn't marketable.  It's really some great food for thought.  I wish I had read this blog post ages ago when I first started to try and explain magic to my non-Pagan friends.  I always end up looking like a crazy person.  Since I grew tired of the "this chick is insane/stupid/gullible/going to Hell" look, I'm mostly in the "keep magic to myself and sacred" camp.  I sometimes post about it on my blog because, aside from the friends who are Pagan or are more accepting of my craziness, the blog is relatively anonymous.

Also, I must admit.  I do get a giddiness when I know more about magic than some people.  It's kind of a horrible thing to admit, but when people don't believe, I just feel like...  "Damn, you're really missing out on something amazing. "  They're probably looking at me thinking, "Damn, she's missing out on xyz."  It's funny how that works...



( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Little Things

When I have guests over, I do the usual and clean the apartment.  I take care of the physical tidiness, but I also do a little extra for the spiritual side of things.  Although having company resulted in a stressful Tuesday full of cleaning, fatigue, and the self-loathing that resulted in this post,  I made a point to do a little magic today.

Quite simply, I made an offering.  I chose a blend of incense known for it's purifying properties and offered it to Brighid.  She is my patroness but also a Goddess of the hearth and home.  I prayed to her that the negativity in our home be purified, and that it - and we - be as hospitable as possible to our guests.  A little thing like that can go a long way.  Amidst the hustle and bustle, I took a moment to stop and connect.  I feel that Brighid responded.

It is definitely the little things.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Consecrating Ritual Space

I recently posted about moving my altar into the bedroom.  This made space in the art room for Weretoad's new workbench.  We're still moving things around, but the important aspects of my altar are set up in the bedroom nook.  It's actually a perfect spot for my altar in terms of size.

The photo is a bit tilted, but you can see how lovely everything looks, if a bit cramped.  I like the symbolism of the three walls.  The wall on the left is dedicated to the nature spirits, while the wall on the right is for the ancestors (as featured in a previous post).  The middle wall is the focal point with the sacred tree taking center stage.  On either side of the tree are representations of my patron deities - Brighid and An Dagda.   Above the tapestry is the shining sun.  Below that I intend to put some other divine representations, including something having to do with Manannan.

The ancestor wall is coming along nicely.  I would like to add further photos and representations, but it will require more frames and shelves.  The nature spirit wall will undoubtedly grow with time as well.  Here's a better shot of it.  So far I have a shelf that belongs to my main spirit guide, the lynx.  Above him is a representation of the catsidhe, and a bodhrán with a green buck on it.

The main altar is made of an old vanity.  I removed the mirror and have been using it as a sacred space for nearly my entire Pagan career*.  I believe that it is already infused with a lot of energy, but I wanted to consecrate the new ritual space.  For my most recent magical working, I took advantage of the close walls and put my hands against them while pushing my feet into the floor.  I chanted, calling the land, sea, sky, fire, well, and tree to be present in my altar.  I invited the Kindreds to my personal sacred space and charged the whole lot of it.  It was a rush, and the empowerment will only continue through use.

For me, this wasn't as much about creating a safe place to practice magic as it was about creating a personal, welcoming place for the Kindreds I am closest to.  At the moment, I am not calling on any truly chaotic or infernal beings.  If there is a dangerous nature spirit, ancestor, or lower God lurking about, I would like to believe that the very powerful Dagda, Brighid, and Manannan will help to keep me safe.  At the moment, I am content making a peace offering to the chaotic spirits and asking for the elements not to destroy me.  Should I ever seek wisdom from Bres, the Cailleach, or Balor, then I would most certainly consider more protection.  For now, I will work to form closer ties with the beings who bless me.


* When I was experimenting with Wicca my altar was on a shelf behind my bed and then on a little book stand.  They tended to gather dust.  What an adorable neophyte I was!  
( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Magically Mundane Mondays - Hug a Tree

Although I'm not finished with my Magic 1 essays, I have started to read books on ogham for Divination 1.  I'm not merely looking at the course as a way to learn about divination.  I see learning ogham as a next step in my magical practices.  Not only can it be used as a way to commune with the spirits, but the symbols can be used in magical acts.  I also want to take this opportunity to grow closer to the trees.

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about crystals.  She was telling me about her sister and how she has a spiritual connection to amethyst.  I shared a story about friends of mine who are equally enamored with the crystal.  During this exchange, I admitted that I've never been very drawn to crystals in a spiritual way.  I find some stones more interesting than others, and I enjoy learning the correspondences and symbolism, but I've never felt a pull to learn crystal healing or such.  I thought about it later and realized that what I am drawn to are trees and other plants.  I am interested in their properties, healing potential, symbolism, and history.  I don't discount the divine significance of crystals, but my talents do not reside within that realm.

After work, before delving into anything else, I put my green galoshes on, trudged through the muddy hedges, and went into the forest.  It was cold.  The deciduous trees were practically bare.  The setting sun sent an orange, misty light through the woods.  There weren't any mosquitos or flies.  There was a stillness broken only by a crow flying north and my own footsteps and whispers to the kindreds.  I found myself near a birch tree and I spoke to it, touched, it, hugged it and just sat for a time.  I felt the stillness and firmness of the tree.  I felt the sleep of winter.  I heard the rustle of wind through pine needles.  I saw the still waters of the marshland slowly reclaiming territory amidst the other birch and younger trees.

I encourage you to go out and hug a tree, as silly as that sounds.  Literally hug it and be silent.  Close your eyes for a little, then open them.  Watch.  If a tree is not for you, find a rock, a flower, a moss-covered hill.  Git outside and be still.  Open yourself to the aged wisdom and chaos around you.  If anything, you will feel more relaxed for it.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

In Which I Struggle Through Magic 1

I think I'm finished with exit question 1 of Magic 1.  For now anyway.

I now believe that one reason I stalled on the essays is because the first question is, in my opinion, worded so awkwardly.  "Discuss the importance of the action of the magico-religious function as it is seen within the context of the general Indo-European culture."  Over the past few months, as I read book after book on magic, I would return to the first exit question to see if I felt confident to try it.  It always felt jagged going into my brain.  It always sounded convoluted coming out of my mouth. 
  I still worry that I don't know enough to answer the questions.  I'm probably over-thinking things, but I realized that I now know a lot more about the Greek and Roman perceptions of magic than the Celtic.  I tried to find some old Irish legal manuscripts dealing with magic, but they either haven't been translated yet or are buried in another law text concerned with something more general.  I know from prior reading that the concept of a witch or a sorcerer who practices dark magic exists in Irish lore, but I don't know if those aspects are demonized through Christianity or not.  If the ancient Greek and Roman Pagans allowed for conceptions of marginal, ethically questionable magicians, it's certainly possible that the ancient Celts felt the same way.  That said, the Greeks and Romans were afraid of people who threatened the social balance.  The Celts, on the other hand, have examples of public cursing resulting in the fall of kings -  major social change!  However, the cursing is usually justified because it was the king himself who threw the system out of balance!

Raaarg.  I have a headache.  At least I'm finally starting my essays.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Fairy Costume

Today I dressed as a fairy for Halloween festivities.  Several children asked me if I was Tinkerbelle even though my only resemblance to her was through my green color scheme and jagged fairy skirt - which was much longer than hers, mind you!  I told the children, "No!  I'm a woodland fairy!  I'm not from Neverland!"  


Several children questioned me about my wand - handmade but not consecrated.  Most children are obviously not used to seeing real or authentic looking wands.  To them, everything is plastic and bought at a store.  My bumpy rowan branch with silver wire and bells caught their eyes.  Several asked me if it was a real wand.  I said yes because, even though it was made as a prop, it was indeed modeled after my real fairy wand - a tool I use to open and close the gates during ritual. The impression I received from their wide eyes was that they were hoping that maybe, just maybe, it was real.  More and more children are jaded to magic, but some hold out hope...


One girl asked me to say abracadabra - just to see what would happen.  My heart sank a little.  I didn't want her to give up on real magic in this world, but I also wanted to be honest.  "Well...  it doesn't quite work that way."  She went away with her friends.  I shrugged to myself.  It isn't appropriate for me explain real magic or its ethics to a child outside of my tribe and tradition.  I doubt she would have cared at this age.  Perhaps she will seek real magic when she's older.  Perhaps not.  Perhaps she will go through life hoping for a magic that only exists in Hollywood, all the while missing the magic everywhere. 


Then again, perhaps the magic of the imagination is enough for some people, for it is indeed a powerful energy!  Maybe she'll remember the woman dressed as a fairy with the pretty wand when she's older.  Maybe she'll smile and find magic in that moment.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Magically Mundane Mondays - Enjoy Autumn!

As I recently posted, my stomping grounds are becoming increasingly winter-like.  There is the promise of a short Indian Summer this week.  I encourage you to make the most of it and enjoy the last bit of Autumn magic!

• Admire the leaves.  Observe the changes and marvel at the magnificence of nature.  
• Play in the laves!  Rake them into piles and jump into them.  Enjoy their earthy scent.  Collect a few to press or rub with crayons.  Try to identify them and add these to your nature journal.
• If you don't have a nature journal - MAKE ONE!  It's a wonderful way to observe the magic that is all around you every day!
• Keep track of the wildlife around you.  What birds are still around?  Have the robins left yet?  Have you seen any Canada geese flying south?
• Pick or buy some locally grown apples and bake them.  Inhale their perfume as they cook...  Drink their juice and spice it up!  Warm cider will fill you with autumn's spirit for sure!
• Visit the farmers' market before it ends for the season.  Observe what produce is available.  Try and make more meals with the food that's in season and really connect with the agricultural cycle.  Thank the Earth Mother for her bounty.  Thank the Nature Spirits before they nurture you.  Envision the alchemy that occurs in your kitchen with each meal.  
• Build an ancestral altar.  Pray to your ancestors and meditate on death and transformation.
• Start to dream of the activities you can do during the dark half of the year.  Create a mental list of crafts to create, recipes to cook, card or board games to play, and books to read.
• Preserve some food.  This is something I want to try more of in the future.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Birth, Death, and the Afterlife/lives - My Take

Flame in Bloom wrote about her take on birth, death, and what comes after.  It was a beautiful post and it inspired me to write about it myself.  Where did I come from?  How have my experiences shaped my beliefs about our most basic and universal experiences?

Birth


I was born in December.  My mum still refers to me as a snow baby and, to this day, although I dislike the danger associated with driving in the snow, I look forward to and enjoy winter every year!  I was born roughly a week before Christmas.  My sister was born around Easter.  Our birthdays and their celebrations have always occurred around major festivals of rebirth.  I believe that life is magical and that we come from somewhere else, or some other life.

Pregnancy and birth are magical.  Although I've never been pregnant myself, I've known enough women to experience it that I've witnessed the awesomeness that is creation.  Birth seems like an extreme form of magic.   I've seen some pregnancies that were unexpected and through strange or even sad circumstances, but they have always been accepted as fate and cherished.  That said, I believe in a woman's choice to abort.  It is none of my business what a woman does with her own body and I can think of a few circumstances where I would take such control.  I'm very much a novice at magic and magical philosophy, but I know enough that some forms of magic are taking control of the forces of nature, with or without the permission of the Gods or spirits, depending on the tradition.  Sometimes, it's okay to take that control as long as it is done with respect and foresight.  At the same time, I believe that people must be more responsible.  I believe that women have a right to abortions, but I wish there weren't a need for them ever.

We live in a crowded world that is quickly becoming depleted of its resources.  This bothers me when I think about having any children of my own.  When I got engaged, and felt very secure with my mate, I suddenly recognized what scores of women call their biological clock - in other words, I started to feel that real drive to have a child.  It's uniquely different from my sex drive.  I feel my body and heart want a child, but my mind firmly says no.  This is mostly a matter of finances.  Weretoad and I are in a good place.  We are pretty comfortable now but I'm not sure how a child would fit into that equation.  We also want to have more fun.  We want to travel, attend theaters, take more college classes...  A child would dramatically complicate all of that.  I'm not above admitting my own selfishness here.  I recognize that I am too selfish and couple-involved to allow the admittance of another into our home yet.  We're just not ready.  The environmental concerns that come with a child also weigh on my mind when I think about it.  If we ever have children, I think one would be the ideal number.  We would rather pump less of a progeny into an already burdened world than more or equal.

Death

I've experienced a lot of death in my life.  The first was my goldfish at the age of five.  I was very distraught.  My father made her a little wooden casket and we buried her beneath a blue spruce.  Then my maternal grandmother died when I was eight.  Then my zebra finch.  Then my dog.  Then my paternal great grandmother and several other people.  Shortly after I started college, my aunt died at the age of 40 from stomach and bone cancer.  My first cat, Muffin, passed away two days after my wedding.  Those were each hard but brought on more of a maturity about death.  I saw suffering and knew that death most likely meant an end to that, at least in this world.  I accepted the sadness but also the inevitability.  In my experience, you cannot have one without the other.

Other people talk about an acceptance of death tying into their diets.  It is not so simple to me.  I cannot use that as an excuse to eat meat.  As I've explored in other posts, I've come to the realization that my lesson in this life is to abstain from meat, at least for the time being.  I know many people who say that they eat meat because it connects them to the cycles of life.  I respect them for that because, ultimately, our diet is a very personal thing and we all do what we feel is right for ourselves and the environment (I hope).  The herbivore is just as much a part of the circle of life.  I accept that role and am okay with other organisms eating me when I die.  I want them to.  I want to go back into the Earth Mother's crucible.  Does abstaining from flesh mean I am somehow ignorant of death?  Does it mean I don't want to talk about it or hide from it?  Not at all.  I have great respect for hunters.  When I meet people who have tried other types of meat, I ask how it tasted.  I have a growing collection of found bones.  I do not look away from the roadkill - I pray for it.  I do not take some sort of psychotic joy from death and the kill.  I would rather not watch a predator maul its prey, but that doesn't mean I don't understand or respect that magic.

The After Life

After death, I believe that we go somewhere.  I am comforted and content with the Celtic models of the afterlife.  They seemed to believe in the afterlife or the Otherworld being a collection of islands.  Each island was something different - enjoyable, horrific, human, animal, relaxing, rollicking...  Perhaps it is like that?  Perhaps we choose where we stay for awhile.  Perhaps we can move from one to another.  Perhaps there are islands for other religions.  Or even another set of island chains.  Perhaps we can all visit one another while still enjoying our version of paradise.  And yet perhaps there is nothing at all.  Perhaps we will simply be converted to something or someone else, through reincarnation or the transference of energy.  I remain happily agnostic about this subject.

At the same time, I believe in ghosts and the ability to communicate with the dead.  I've experienced it myself at least four times.  I cannot deny what happened nor rationalize it any other way.  Thus, I believe there is something more than just silence after life.  This fits perfectly into my desire to make altars for my ancestors and pray to them.


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Magic 101

I feel as if I've been working on this one portion of the Initiate Program forever!  I'm very nearly done with Magic in the Ancient World by Fritz Graf.  It's been an absolutely fascinating read thus far and I feel like I've learned more from it than I have any other book on the subject.

I still feel a bit intimidated by some of the questions.  It's not that I don't understand them, but I feel as if I still don't know enough to answer them adequately!  This is my problem.  I keep reading, and reading, and reading.  I really should get on with it and answer the questions!

One thing is for certain: even when I've finished the course, my appetite for magical knowledge is greater than ever before.  Along with the history books, I've been looking through old grimoirs here and there.  I'm intrigued by the history of magic, who used it, why, and where the modern methods came from.  I think too many people attempt magic without enough study.

There was a time when I found magic to be too much for me.  I practiced it but had results that were simply too effective and in ways that I did not intend or desire.  I didn't fully understand the symbolism involved, the deities they were connected with, or the cultures who had nurtured them.  I decided I would stop doing it except through prayer and offerings.  Maybe some divination here and there.  That was when I was dabbling with Wicca and eclectic Paganism.  Now that I'm older, more educated, and have better guidance, I feel more confident in myself and the craft.  I find myself looking in places that would have made my younger self nervous.  It's not that I take it lightly or feel myself "ready" for anything in particular - I am just less ignorant of it.  

To move forward, I feel that I really must develop my meditative and trance skills.  I've been far too lax recently...  I'm kind of disappointed with myself, really.  I must get back on track and strengthen my mental discipline.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Various Random Things From This Weekend - Probably Quite Boring *

I've had an enjoyable weekend so far.  I was able to visit some of my family which is always wonderful.  My husband was able to spend a lot of time with his best buddy and our future brother-in-law (I'll call him Hunter).  Now that I'm older, I get along better with my sister (I'll call her Georgia).  It's fun to to be with her and her fiance.  It's always a very relaxed time, and Weretoad and I can be ourselves.  They always have a new drink for us to try that further inhibits us.

We took advantage of the visit to finally unveil our new car to the immediate tribe.  It's a lovely green hatchback with spectacular headlights which I like to think of as dragon eyes.  In fact, I fancy the whole car a dragon (symbolically, of course).  I've referred to it as a green dragon, but my husband cringes due to the drug reference.  It's been very difficult living in the North Country with only one car - and an old one at that.  We've already had some situations that made me feel uncomfortable and even helpless.  The public transportation system around here is practically non-existent.  There are buses that come to our area, but the hours are so limited that they don't fit into my husband's work schedule at all.  I need to adjust my sleep habits so I have time to walk to work in the morning.  I would really like to develop that habit as reducing my impact on Mama Earth is very important to me. We would have liked to find a hybrid, but they are out of our price range.  We did a lot of research and went for something that achieves decent miles per gallon and can assist us in transporting the kayaks we're getting for Solstice.

Now that we have a new car, I'm thinking about creating a protection charm to hang in it.  It will probably have something to do with Lugh.  The Romans equated him with Mercury, a patron of merchants and therefore travelers.  This opens up the possibility that the Celts (or at least the Gauls) saw him in this way too.  In the Irish myths, Lugh has to travel to the Tuatha de Dannan before he is accepted by them (perhaps a stretch...).  I have been praying to Lugh for protection on the road for years now and I feel that he has heard and helped me.

I spent some time this weekend working on my Samhain costume.  I'm planning to be a forest fairy.  I've got the pieces of the vest cut out and ready to be stitched together.  I found ear tips this weekend but will have to paint them.

Finally, my husband found a Victorian card with a green fairy on it while we were browsing in an antique store.  I absolutely had to have it.  She's Victorian, but not as silly looking as most fairies represented in that era.  I can't wait to display her on my wall.

* At least I'm writing a substantial post!  I haven't done that in a week it seems!


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Druidic Tools: Knives

A recent conversation inspired this post.  I was talking with a group of (mostly) Wiccans and eclectic Pagans.  They all have varying amounts of experience and knowledge.  Many of them adhere to the belief that a magic practitioner should possess two knives - the athame, the ritual knife, and the boleen, the "practical" or "mundane" knife which is used for cutting herbs, wood, etc...    If you know me well, you know that I hate those words when juxtaposed to magic as if magic couldn't be practical or mundane, or as if your everyday actions couldn't be magical and therefore meaningful.  If you believe that such a distinction is an important practice, by all means continue!  You must remember that I'm a Druid and our practices are, sometimes, different from those of Wicca*.

When I first started to study Paganism, I went to the usual suspects - the Llewellyn 101 books.  They were very nearly clones and I tired of them.  They came with the usual chapters on ritual tools - a shopping list of sorts.  Every book said the same thing - one knife for energy work, and one knife for practical work.  Some of them attempted to explain this because of some tradition they couldn't easily explain - as if every magician that ever was did exactly that.  So much for being a real witch and thinking for yourself!  Some of the books explained that to cut an object with your ritual knife would somehow tarnish the athame.  Really?  Now I could, perhaps, understand if you were more interested in transcending earthly bonds, but a majority of Pagans I know are adamant about being an Earth-based religion.  How can you claim to celebrate the beauty and magic of the world around you while somehow declaring contact with earthly things like herbs or stone to be profane?  That makes no sense to me.  If you are offended, I do not mean to be harsh, but plenty of Pagans point out the inconsistencies in Christianity.  If we're going to be critical of other religious practices, we must first be critical of our own or else we will never grow.

I have a knife.  I use it for ritual purposes and I consider the gathering of herbs and the carving of tools and charms to be a ritual.  I do use kitchen knives and I suppose, in that sense, I do own more than one ritual knife.  Like kitchen witches, I believe that working in the kitchen on even a lowly bowl of gruel is magic.  Preparing the food is magic.  Peeling the veggies is magic.  Chopping them is magic.  Removing the inedible bits is magic.  I believe that the world is magic - the whole world - not just the ritual circle.  Are some things more magical?  Sure, but everything has magic and putting one in contact with the other will not somehow tarnish it.  Trust me.  It may change the energy or transform it (I don't advice touching lava with your ritual knife!), but it won't make the knife profane unless you yourself ritualize such an action and declare it so.  If you are comfortable doing that, by all means continue (I can understand how keeping one knife strictly for ritual space would work as a mental key), but in my belief and practice, magic is spiritual and physical.  My knife follows me outside of my sacred space into the larger, shared sacred space of the world.  Do I sometimes work with one aspect instead of another?  Sure.  Trance is one way where I move more on the spiritual plane than the physical - but I am still seeing the spirit world as I would the physical world.  Our perception is based on the physical and it seems incredibly hard to escape.  I don't believe the two can easily be separated - if that's even possible.  To me, they are interconnected.  They are like inhaling and exhaling - each part of the same life processes.  If I use different knives, it's because I don't want the potentially poisonous juices of an herb to mix with my food.  That is all.  Primarily, I use one knife in my ritual - the knife I use to carve sigils into candles; the knife I use to harvest herbs; the knife I use to cut twine in the garden; the knife I use to carve ogham; the knife I carry on my nature walks in case I need to defend myself.  I use that knife for so much and I believe that it is infused with a lot of energy.  It has the green energy of the garden, the fiery energy of hearthside crafts, the metallic energy of protection, and the wild energy from beyond the hedge.  Through such frequent use, it is one of my most important tools.  It is as multi-talented as Lugh or Brighid.  My practice is very influenced by ancient Irish belief and multitalented spirits were and are highly valued!

And let us be sensible.  Imagine yourself generations back.  If not a wealthy ceremonial magician with ties to masons and aristocratic patrons, you were probably a wise man or woman of some sort.  You were poor like most people.  You were lucky if you could afford one knife, let alone two.  Your magic was practical.  If you want a knife dedicated to a very specific goal, and only want it to be filled with energy relating to that one practice or occasion*** - go for it!  I'm certain that your knife will be filled with power through such consecration and use, and that it will be exceptionally helpful to you in that goal.  Me?  I like my kitchen witch, multi-talented approach.  :)

In the end, all one can say is, "To each his or her own!"


* You also must remember that not all Druids practice or believe the same.  I'm highly influenced by ADF, CR, and, most recently, traditional witchcraft.
**The above photo is from The Witch of Forest Grove. It's an athame she carved.  Beautiful work, don't you think?
*** I know of knives or sickles only used for initiation or the harvesting of one type of plant, for example.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

My Old Grimoires

I recently listened to this episode of the podcast New World Witchery.  It's all about grimoires or magical texts.  I've been toying with the idea of making one again and the show inspired me to share some of my previous magical books with you.  At left you'll see a photo of my first "Book of Shadows," (red), my second (black), and my third - which was really just a pink binder full of unorganized paper.  :P





The original was a birthday present from my first boyfriend.  I asked him for a nice journal I could use as a book of shadows.  This was when I was learning about Wicca.  The page with the goofy illustrations includes a recipe for "Mabon Apple Crisp."






Here's a couple more pages in the Red Book of Shadows.  I was examining some runes on one.  I like the illustration of a cat behind a candle I did on the other.  The Red Book of Shadows is really special to me.  It was given out of love and I tenderly filled it with everything I was learning.  I don't often fill notebooks, but this treasure is pretty full.  I look back on a lot of it now and laugh at my ignorance - but we all have to start somewhere.  :)




Here we have the Black Book of Shadows.  I was maturing into a more serious practitioner and was doing more regular magical work both alone and with others.  This is about spell I performed with a friend using a poppet, candle, and mirror.








                                                                              More of the Black Book.  I was reflecting on Lughnasadh and the cycles of the moon.  This book isn't as colorful but is more thoughtful in my opinion.  I also started to include snippets from magazines, ritual outlines, and chant sheets as you can tell from the photo.

   

Finally, a shot of the pink binder - the last time I would attempt to create a "book of shadows."  I'm now more drawn to the word "grimoire."  I don't look down my nose at anyone who uses "book of shadows," but for me personally, grimoire is more satisfying.  I understand what "book of shadows" implies, but grimoire seems like a more widely used and understood term in magical history.  Plus it just rolls off my tongue...

Anyway!  The Pink Mess of Shadow Papers was meant to be organized...  I just never got around to it.  It was a collection of printed material (original and "borrowed"), hand written and illustrated pages, newspaper and magazine clippings, liturgical outlines, chant sheets, and pressed herbs preserved in contact paper.  I kept collecting things and, eventually, I had too much!  The binder is bulging.  I was overwhelmed and growing away from Wicca and eclectic Paganism - which is mostly what this focused on. I lost interest.  All three books have been sitting on my shelves.  I don't really use them now, but I keep them with me as memories.  I've carried them with me to each new home as I consider them to be a part of my soul.

I've recently found myself wanting to make a Druidic Grimoire.  I want to document this part of my life and have something more mature and representative of my beliefs to pass onto a child or apprentice.  My problem with the first two magical texts was that I couldn't organize things according to purpose.  I tried to tape tabs onto the Black Book of Shadows but it was still obnoxious...  The binder was supposed to help with that, but instead I ended up with a mess!  I want to actually write and illustrate it with my hands, though, so I don't intend to type it out.  I have ideas, but more on that another day...

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Magically Mundane Mondays - Part 1: The Neti Pot

This is the first of a series of what I hope to be weekly posts about a subject I've become passionate about - filling my life with magic.   To the uninitiated*, living a "magical life" must sound fruity and idealistic at best, and delusional at worst.  To many Pagans, magic is very real.  What people outside of the proverbial magic circle struggle to understand most is that a lot of magic is just a different way of seeing and interacting with the world.  Magic means intentionally focusing on the intent of an action.  Magic is very much living a purposeful life.  Although some of what I talk about may seem to some as an impractical waste of time, to me my little rituals and magical acts are how I maintain a spiritual connection to the world outside of ritual and meditation.  Some of what I write about will be influenced by Druidism, folk-magic, and kitchen/green witchcraft.  A few will incorporate other cultural/religious practices.

I'm going to begin by talking about the object pictured at right**.  It's called a neti pot and I've been using one for the past two months.  My father gave it to me after I told him I was suffering from possible allergies and wanted to obtain one.  It has been one of the best and most practical gifts ever.  This may sound gross to those of you who have never tried a neti pot before, but you combine water and salt to make a solution.  You then pour the liquid through one nostril at a time while you lean over a sink and breath through your mouth.  The solution flushes the irritants from your nasal passage and is very effective at reducing the symptoms of allergies and colds.  From what I understand, it is a Yogic practice but many Muslims also us a form of nasal irrigation.

"Ok Grey," you say.  "Yoga aside, what does flushing snot out of your nose have to do with magic?"

Everything!  First of all, healing is one of the most basic ways of practicing magic.  By taking your health into your own hands and using a natural method to fight allergies instead of using expensive drugs, you are moving into what I would argue is a closer relationship to the Earth Mother.  That's pretty Druidic!***

How else is using a neti pot magical?  When I prepare my solution, I go about it in a semi-meditative/ritualistic way.  I fill the pot with warm water and think on the fact that this is the combination of fire and water.  I add the salt which represents the earth - land.  Fire/sun/sky, well/sea, and sacred tree/Earth are present in this simple healing ritual.  They mix in the neti pot (cauldron of transformation).  As I stir the ingredients together, I perform the Two Powers meditation and direct the energies of above and below into the "potion."  I say, "By fire, well, and sacred tree / let this salt water heal me!" before using the neti pot.  Trust me, approaching any form of traditional healing according to your spiritual practice is really empowering****.

Finally, using a neti pot is a great way to prepare yourself for another ritual or magical act.  Many cultures or people talk of purifying baths to prepare for ritual.  If you are the sort who likes to mentally and/or physically prepare yourself for a rite, but you either can't or don't want to bathe, a neti pot is a great practice before ritual that can be combined with washing your hands and brushing your teeth.  Even if you believe that our bodies don't need any such preparation to enter sacred space, using a neti pot has a great practical use before ritual - it helps to alleviate sinus discomfort so long as you are gentle and make sure to blow your nose after using it.  As someone who often sniffles, this is a great practice for helping to remove a distraction to myself or others during magical workings.


*And by that I mean the non-Pagan people in the world...
**I wish I took that photo!  I found it on this blog.  
*** For all the whiners and nitpickers out there, I am not against modern medicine.  If someone has a real debilitating issue going on, by all means take what the doctor prescribes you!  I just think our society is a little too pill-popping-happy.  There are more natural ways to fight common allergies.  Even my doctors agreed with me about that.  
****Yes I realize this is a type of cultural appropriation.  I'm giving credit where credit is due and learning more about it all the time - so there.


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Pop Culture Pagans on The Juggler

Have any of you been reading The Juggler?  For those of you out of the loop, it's a member of the Pagan Newswire Collective and focuses on Pagans in pop culture - tv, movies, and books mostly.  I really dig the author's most recent post about some of the best Pagans on TV.  I loved that she included Lisa Simpson.  How many of you saw that episode last year where Lisa started to study Wicca?  It was probably one of the best portrayals of the religion on TV I've ever seen.  I highly recommend it if only for the significance of such an event.

I also like that Lucius Vorenus from "Rome" is on the list.  I haven't started the second season, but I was impressed with the very authentic portrayal of ancient Paganism.  There might have been some imperfections that Roman geeks could have spotted, but based on my growing understanding of authentic ancient magic and polytheism, it seems pretty spot on.  

I was also happy to see Tara from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."  The show has a horrible understanding of what Paganism is.  It doesn't understand Wicca.  It's as if the creators read the first paragraph of a Wikipedia entry and decided to mash and mix that understanding with the standard Hollywood portrayal of traditional witchcraft.  As the Juggler says:

Why not Willow, you say?  Don’t get me wrong, I love Willow as I love all the characters on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  But Willow, like a lot of television witches, was a caricature of a witch.  She was an imperfect, magical, supernatural and most of all fictional character.  Tara, from the moment we met her at UC Sunnydale’s student Pagan group, always struck me as much more organic. Sure, she is part of the same mythology but she just felt more down to earth, more real.  Though there is no evidence in the story, I can see Tara attending a Samhain ritual and honoring the Goddess and calling the quarters.

I totally agree!

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

On the Evolution of Magic

I've been reading Magic in the Ancient World  by Fritz Graf.  While I'm not even halfway through, I'm learning a lot about magic in the Mediterranean world.  The concept changed throughout history, but there was always this concept of the "other" - the enemy or the outsiders - practicing malevolent magic.  Unless I am way off base, it seems that beneficial magic (like healing) was hardly considered magic at all because, for some time, magic was considered a practice apart from the official religion - and healing was endorsed (this became complicated when healing magic was differentiated from medical science). People who attempted to control the will of the Gods were argued to be atheists by some because they questioned the power of the Gods.  It's interesting how concepts change throughout time.

I'm not sure what to assume about the Celts in their many tribes.  We know the Druids and the common folk practiced magic of varying degrees, and yet there is still the concept of the horrible witch - the other apart from the Druid.  She (or he, I suppose) practiced wicked spells and was feared (but usually bested in the end).  Was this a carryover from Christian fear, another way to view deities of death and decay, or did the Celts categorize magic as good and bad; endorsed and prohibited?

Some people have this idea that the witch of ancient times was really once a respected wise woman or man.  That is true for some periods, but not all.  And the witches in the stories are not healers - they are quite the opposite!  Many in our communities today would also ostracize and perhaps even persecute someone who practiced magic for immoral reasons such as stealing another's property.  Thankfully, it seems most Pagans do not aim for such roles.  A normal person detests the wicked witches in the lore - lore that may be propaganda against the innocent practitioners of folk magic from an older, once endorsed religion.

When we look back at magic and how it has been perceived through the years, it is complicated and depends on the time and the place.  It also depends on who you talk to.  Magical history is not so cut and dry as some would have us believe.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Mmm...essential oils...

Today, Weretoad and I went to a craft show in Clayton sponsored by the Thousand Islands Art Center.  It was exquisite with high quality artisan crafts; probably the most diverse and interesting craft show I've ever seen - along with Utica's Indie Garage Sale.  Weretoad bought me a stained glass triquetra.  I bought tea tree and fir essential oils and a foot scrubber from Harmony All Natural Soaps and Oils.  I'm running low on oils lately.  I like to use them as offerings to spirits and for certain magical workings.  I very nearly bought juniper berry oil as Northern Europeans burned juniper as incense and I've found it to be very effective in my rites.  I decided to go with fir needle instead because I recently made (and have been using) juniper smudge sticks and I've never had fir oil before.  I rather like it and think it will be excellent for working with local nature spirits.


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Rolling in Books

A new book arrived for me in the mail today: Magic in the Ancient World by Fritz Graf.  It's recommended reading for Magic 1 in ADF's Initiate Program.  I've read many titles about the history and folklore of magic in Europe - mostly focusing on the north-eastern parts.  This latest book focuses on the Mediterranean world.  All I know about magic from Greece and Rome is the mythological side - the famous witches like Circe and Medea.  I'm excited to delve into it... as soon as I finish Celtic Heritage: Ancient Tradition in Ireland and Wales by Rees and Rees towards my Indo-European Mythology class.

I've also been reading from my massive art history book every night.  I finished the chapter on the Egyptians a couple nights ago and am about to explore Aegean art.

Aaaaand while doing all of that, I also picked up The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring finally.  I read and immensely enjoyed The Hobbit when I was in fifth or sixth grade, and I always meant to read the trilogy...  I'm loving it so far!



( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Oath Ring

When I performed my oath rite as part of ADF's Dedicant Program, I decided to wear a ring as a sign of my commitment to the Kindreds.  I found a lovely silver spiral ring and used that.  It weakened and broke.  I decided to replace it with a spiraly ring that had belonged to my mother.  I performed a ritual to renew my oath and transfer the energy from the first ring to the next.  Life goes on.

Today I discovered that the ring from my mother, my second oath ring, is starting to break.  This saddens me because it is doubly special.  I have decided to take it off in an effort to preserve it as I love having a trinket from my mum's girlhood.

I am now seeking a more solid oath ring.

I like this "I am of Ireland" ring but I'm not sure if it's the most appropriate.  I am very proud of my Irish heritage, but I've never even been there...  To say I am of it...  I don't know...

I also like these Druidic triad rings but I can't seem to choose just one and I'm not sure about wearing three rings at once.  Two on one finger seems like enough!  lol

In the end I'll probably go with a nice spiral or Celtic knot.  It seems to be what I love most.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )