Saturday, November 27, 2010

Excited for Tonight

Visiting family usually means that my mental discipline goes out the window.  Not that I've had much recently in regards to religion...  With a craft show coming up, my free time is filled with more sewing than meditation, ritual, or spellwork.  I even brought my work with me so I can create while visiting family.  So far I've made a small dragon and another mushroom spirit.  I'm in the middle of working on a larger doll.  I think I'll have a nice collection of whimsy available for the craft show!

Obviously I have my hands full and am mentally distracted.  I brought my traveling altar with me and did a quick devotional on Thursday evening.  Otherwise it's hard to find a private, quiet time to do anything.  I pray or chant to myself.  My Gods, while they do like attention, are not so full of condemnation when I cannot visit my altar each day.  They hear my whispered prayers, I think.  They are tribal Gods and seem to understand the importance of family time.  My patroness is pleased by art and, to me, sewing is a way of bringing her honor because she is my muse.  It is a different sort of ritual and I am coming to terms with that.  There is a sort of magic in art - that cannot be denied. 

  My family is not Pagan, although some of them have animistic tendencies.  They are accepting of my beliefs, and I am free to talk about them, but I do not go out of my way to rub their noses in it.  I may pray in front of them from time to time, as I did for Thanksgiving, or discuss my ways, but I generally find myself a quiet corner to perform any rites in.  I prefer it that way.  I don't want to be a spectacle. 

Not tonight!  Tonight will be full of magic and socializing - with my witchy friends in Utica!  Since moving to the North Country, my old Pagan pals stopped meeting openly.  The high priestess*, my dear friend, has learned a lot from her teachers and she is forming her own coven/circle/study group**.  They've continually made it known to me that, no matter my path or where I roam, I'm always welcomed to join them.  I've started to take them up on that offer.  I miss the frequent magic and Pagan fellowship.  Between ADF rituals and amidst so much work, this is exactly what I need. I cannot exactly put into words exactly what I feel about working with them all except to say that we've all grown.  There is a palpable trust and understanding between us which allows me to feel very comfortable and welcomed despite my different ways.  I think we intersect on our love of folk magic and academic study.  The high priestess and one of the others seem more and more influenced by traditional witchcraft - something I am also continually drawn to.  I feel like Druidism is my religious path, but traditional witchcraft can fit very nicely in there.  This is something I'm still exploring, and the group in Utica is just what I need.  I'm so excited for later.  :)

*I am not sure if she is comfortable being called such, but, to me, that is what she is and that is the role she plays.  In my opinion, it sounds less cult-like than "leader."  :P

** They are not actively calling it a coven, but I can see it going that way. And you know what?  I've grown spiritually since a couple years ago and find myself comfortable being a part of that.  Totally another entry for another day...

( For My LJ Friends: )

Friday, November 26, 2010

Looking at Death

We spent Thanksgiving with our parents this year.  Weretoad's mother visited us and we all went down to my parents'.  Weretoad and I brought the tofurky.  I cooked it in a crock pot surrounded by sweet potatoes and carrots.  Oh my Gods, it was delicious!  We don't eat many processed faux meats.  We tend to stick with straight beans or homemade bean patties.  When I'm feeling a bit lazy, or when Thanksgiving rolls around, Tofurky is relatively guilt free.  While it's still a processed product, it's not made from genetically modified or non-organic soy.  I feel pretty good about eating it. 

I've been learning more about Buddhism recently.  I don't know why, but my interest in it has increased.  There are obvious differences between it and modern Druidism, but there are also similarities.  It fascinates me, especially in regards to compassion.  There is a story about The Buddha attending a planting festival.  Instead of watching the dancers, he focused on the bugs and their eggs.  He thought about how the people digging into the soil had to disturb them, possibly kill them, in order to grow their crops.  This event is said to have helped inspire his philosophy on compassion.  This, in turn, inspired many Buddhists to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle.  I've been thinking a lot about this recently.  No matter how hard I try to be compassionate towards the natural world, I can only do so much without killing myself.  Even the most dedicated fruititarian will inevitably harm one creature, if only through the cultivation of vegetable matter to consume.  Some may look at this and say, "Well then why give up meat?  You cannot escape the circle of life entirely.  You might as well embrace it."  The thing is, I'm not trying to escape the cycles of nature - I am still a part of them but in a different why than a meat eater.  I experience the cycles differently now that I try not to consume the flesh of my fellow brother and sister animals.  I do what I can  - I seek a balance. There must be a balance of compassion for the Nature Spirits and ourselves.  That balance will be different for each of us depending on the lessons we need to learn and the diet our bodies need.  We should not punish our bodies.  Even The Buddha recognized that killing our bodies for spiritual goals was not healthy.  Everything must be balanced.

We have entered to season of death.  Our ancestors culled the herds and this tradition continues to this day with hunting season.  Since moving to the North Country, I have seen more deer hanging from trees in front of homes.  Every time I see one, I think of Odin hanging from the World Tree, starring down at the roots, seeking wisdom.  I wonder where the deers' souls have ventured as the blood drains from their bodies.  I marvel that the corvid family is not there to taste their flesh.  As the nights grow colder and hunters work to stock their freezers, I've seen them peel the flesh from the deer.  I've seen the gleaming muscles and tendons revealed.  Weretoad looks away.  He has his reasons and I respect them.  I stare.  I find myself fascinated with the process.  I feel for the deer, but there is something fundamentally more sacred about the relationship between the hunter and the hunted than the shopper and the package of meat. I think of that as I stare.   That is not to say that I don't respect the people buying locally farmed and butchered animals - that is also better than buying factory farmed meat.  But one must admit - when it is you hunting/raising, killing, and then skinning the animal...  you enter an intimate dance with the forces of life and death.  It is more than simply being in touch with the land and the agricultural cycles - you are getting in touch with the real essence of mortality. Some of this may be my romanticized, Paganized, outsider perspective, but have talked to people who hunt or raise their own food - some of whom are very close friends and family - I am not alone in thinking these things.

It seems obvious, but there is a difference between killing a plant and an animal.  The only difference is that we can relate more to the animal because of its similarities to us.  I stop and stare at the gutted, dripping, shimmering corpses.  They are like me.  That could be me.  I am reminded of Ricky Fitts from "American Beauty" and his facination with dead people and animals.  When asked why he films them, he says, "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."  He admits to seeing beauty in what is otherwise uncomfortable and grotesque.  I still feel uncomfortable, but I look anyway and try to feel what the hunter might have felt (if he was the respectful sort like my soon to be brother-in-law).

I read a blog entry recently about what is arguably the most humane way to kill a turkey.  The author described the event, how the animal's brain died before its body.  The convulsions made a woman who had never seen this cry and feel for the animal.  Even the author admitted to always feeling something of pity for the creature.  He explained that being there to witness the death of the animal is the price a human should pay for eating it.  To eat the fruit of death, a human must pay the price of being reminded of his or her own mortality.  It was a fascinating perspective, and one perfectly in-line with Druidism' belief in a gift calls for a gift or sacrifice. 

I think that is why I stare.  I don't experience that exchange as vividly in my garden.  If I kill anything as I till or dig, I do not see it.  I move anything large enough to see.  I experience the death of flesh distantly, but I still feel I must somehow experience it and whisper soft prayers for the departed.  I must be reminded of my own mortality - not through animal activist videos - but through the vivid dance of the hunter and the deer.

In some ways, I suppose I stare for the same reason I stare in awe at the multitudes of stars at night.  I like to be reminded of how small I really am.  For some reason, that feeling is like a hug. 

Gods bless the deer and other game who have fed the multitudes this season.  May you run wild in the Other World!

( For My LJ Friends: )

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Busy Sewing (Image Heavy!)

In anticipation of an upcoming craft/art show, I've been sewing like a mad woman.  Some of my creations aren't done yet, so I've not bothered to photograph them.  I have three large dolls in the works.  One is nearly done.  She just needs shoes.  I felted some grapes for the second.  They need leaves and vines.  Then she needs hair, clothing, and wings.  The third doll is, as I like to say, gestating.  Her body parts are in various stages of development.  She's currently in a bag.  I hope to work on her while visiting my family this week.

I have made several little things.  Check 'em out!

Meet the mushroom spirit!  The tree spirits were feeling lonely and wanted some fun guys to play with!  (Yuck yuck yuck!)  Like most people, I have this aesthetic attraction to amanita muscaria - fly agaric.  They are full of whimsy and magic.  Many people still use them for hedgecrossing and other trance work.  What magically inclined person wouldn't want one of these little guys hanging around?  

 Here's the amanita formosa  variety of fly agaric.  I'm quite fond of them because they're in my back yard!  

A brown mushroom.  I'm sure there is a mushroom that looks like this.  I need a name for it...  

A wide-eyed fly agaric.  

A darker fly agaric.

Some "psychedelic mushrooms."  I need to attach string to some of them...  I think they make cute ornaments.

A tiny Santa.

Finally, a wee fairy.  I also plan to add a string to her.  She would look lovely on a Yule tree!  

They're kind of hard to see, but here are her wings.  

( For My LJ Friends: )

Magical Efficacy

Check out this amazing blog post over at "Inciting a Riot."  It's all about the public's misunderstanding about magic, and the Pagan community's own relationship to magic - specifically why everyone isn't doing it and why magic isn't marketable.  It's really some great food for thought.  I wish I had read this blog post ages ago when I first started to try and explain magic to my non-Pagan friends.  I always end up looking like a crazy person.  Since I grew tired of the "this chick is insane/stupid/gullible/going to Hell" look, I'm mostly in the "keep magic to myself and sacred" camp.  I sometimes post about it on my blog because, aside from the friends who are Pagan or are more accepting of my craziness, the blog is relatively anonymous.

Also, I must admit.  I do get a giddiness when I know more about magic than some people.  It's kind of a horrible thing to admit, but when people don't believe, I just feel like...  "Damn, you're really missing out on something amazing. "  They're probably looking at me thinking, "Damn, she's missing out on xyz."  It's funny how that works...

( For My LJ Friends: )

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Taking a moment to step away from the debate...

In the forest today, I noticed a single thread of spider silk stretched loosely between two pine branches.  It undulated slowly in the wind, occasionally catching the sun and giving itself away.  I stared at it for a time, watching the world inhale and exhale.  I marveled at how delicate it was.  I thought of the Japanese and their love of cherry blossoms; how they celebrate their fleeting beauty.  The spider silk reminded me of that.  I thought of myself as the silk, shining in the sun until the wind and rain break me and the Earth takes me back into herself.  I thought about how that is all life is, and we must do our best to be the most wonderful piece of spider silk clinging to a tree.

Sometimes I get caught up in the academic side of Paganism.  Don't misunderstand me - I love history, mythology, anthropology, and language.  Discussing the nature of deity can be an engaging exercise for the brain.  But sometimes...  sometimes you need to step back and admit your cluelessness.  Many of us feel that we are doing what is right for us, but even then we can never fully know.  Sometimes, we need to go to the source of our spiritual fire - be that a hobby, a temple, or the land - and just exist in it.  Take note of the life around you and feel the divine - whatever it ultimately is - move in and around you.  We divide ourselves with tradition and culture.  I don't find anything inherently wrong with that because we cannot all be the same.  I just think we can become so blinded by it that we lose sight of the essence - even if it's only for a moment while we're engaged in a heated theological debate.

Taking a moment to lean against a birch tree in the woods and just be... It is good for the body, mind, and soul.

( For My LJ Friends: )

Thursday, November 18, 2010

An Dagda Chant - By Grey Catsidhe

There's been a lot of discussion about An Dagda on the lists lately.  Most of it has been about pronouncing his name.  All the same, I've really enjoyed the discussion.  An Dagda is my patron, which may surprise some people because he is, in many ways, a pervert.  Still, he has firmly become a huge part of my life and continues to remind me to have a sense of humor.

Anyway, I was driving home from dinner today and a chant entered my head.  I tweaked it a bit from its original wording, but I really like it and can't stop singing it!

An Dagda is the Good God
An Dagda is the Good God
The laughing God
The lusty God
The God of plenty!

I sang it for my husband at home.  He isn't sure about the final line.  While I'm open to suggestions, it sounds fine to me!  I'm not sure what I could change it to but I'm sure there could additions!

( For My LJ Friends: )

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Little Things

When I have guests over, I do the usual and clean the apartment.  I take care of the physical tidiness, but I also do a little extra for the spiritual side of things.  Although having company resulted in a stressful Tuesday full of cleaning, fatigue, and the self-loathing that resulted in this post,  I made a point to do a little magic today.

Quite simply, I made an offering.  I chose a blend of incense known for it's purifying properties and offered it to Brighid.  She is my patroness but also a Goddess of the hearth and home.  I prayed to her that the negativity in our home be purified, and that it - and we - be as hospitable as possible to our guests.  A little thing like that can go a long way.  Amidst the hustle and bustle, I took a moment to stop and connect.  I feel that Brighid responded.

It is definitely the little things.

( For My LJ Friends: )

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Letter to the Kindreds

Dear Kindreds,

I know I've been a bit distant recently.  My ritual last week was tired and rushed.  I forgot my usual peace offering for the Outdwellers.  I forgot to honor the bardic spirit until after I made an offering to the ancestors.  I forgot the ale but, luckily, had whiskey on hand.  It felt like one of my first rituals.  I was embarrassed and felt defeated.  My daily devotionals have been lackluster.  I've waited until the last moments to do them before I lazily drag myself to bed far too late.  I speak in hushed tones or in my head because my husband is often there getting ready for sleep.  The altar is in the bedroom and I feel exposed and/or distracted at times.  I know I should do my rituals and devotionals earlier when my husband is at work or busy in the living room, but I spend my time doing other things.  There are things that need to be done, like cleaning.  There are things that I feel called to do, like sew.  There are also huge wastes of time...  Most days, I just want to sit and relax after a long day of work.

I would blame leaving home and visiting family over the weekend for my disrupted routines, but it's really my own lack of discipline.

I hope you know that you're never far from my thoughts.  I see you in the trees, feel you on the breeze, hear you in my dreams, and experience you in my art.  I try to keep close, but sometimes I feel like a boat that, while tethered to the dock, has floated lazily away.  I don't know how others do it.  How do they complete their study programs so quickly?  How do they meditate so regularly without falling asleep?  How do they write articles and books?  How do they do all that while having a job and social life?

Great Kindreds, I will work harder to spend more time with you.  I will work on taking better care of myself and getting to bed sooner.  I will try to waste less time online. I will try harder...

With love,
Grey Catsidhe

( For My LJ Friends: )

Friday, November 12, 2010

On Mushrooms

I took a short walk in the woods yesterday, just as the sun was beginning to set.  I visited the birch tree for a time and then made my usual circuit.  I will sometimes deviate and wander from my path - up the hills, over the craggy heights, around the clearing beyond.  Deer season keeps me closer to home, and that is okay because there is always something new to see in the forest.

I love to look at the little things: vine-like moss creeping over the dead leaves; the last of the ferns; the color of rotting wood; a moth crouching against the chill; the every shifting population of fungi...  Mushrooms continue to fascinate me.  I really should look into finding a mycology class.  I would love to learn more about them and which ones are safe to eat.  I don't often find fly agaric mushrooms in the woods.  This year's record is three.  Something about their iconic connection to magic and myth has clutched at me since finding my first early summer.  I find myself more observant of all mushrooms.  I've never paid them so much attention before this year.

As I walked in the woods,  I realized that.  I also realized that I spent more time getting to know the forest this past summer than I had before.  I finally feel (mostly) safe there.  I feel (mostly) welcomed.  To me, the mushrooms symbolize my growing relationship with this new forest.  As the winter rolls in with it's uncomfortable bite, I've found myself bringing the spirit of the mushrooms inside with me.  Now my tree spirits have mushroom spirit friends.  I cannot wait to post a photo.  They've quickly become one of my favorite things to make!

( For My LJ Friends: )

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Consecrating Ritual Space

I recently posted about moving my altar into the bedroom.  This made space in the art room for Weretoad's new workbench.  We're still moving things around, but the important aspects of my altar are set up in the bedroom nook.  It's actually a perfect spot for my altar in terms of size.

The photo is a bit tilted, but you can see how lovely everything looks, if a bit cramped.  I like the symbolism of the three walls.  The wall on the left is dedicated to the nature spirits, while the wall on the right is for the ancestors (as featured in a previous post).  The middle wall is the focal point with the sacred tree taking center stage.  On either side of the tree are representations of my patron deities - Brighid and An Dagda.   Above the tapestry is the shining sun.  Below that I intend to put some other divine representations, including something having to do with Manannan.

The ancestor wall is coming along nicely.  I would like to add further photos and representations, but it will require more frames and shelves.  The nature spirit wall will undoubtedly grow with time as well.  Here's a better shot of it.  So far I have a shelf that belongs to my main spirit guide, the lynx.  Above him is a representation of the catsidhe, and a bodhrán with a green buck on it.

The main altar is made of an old vanity.  I removed the mirror and have been using it as a sacred space for nearly my entire Pagan career*.  I believe that it is already infused with a lot of energy, but I wanted to consecrate the new ritual space.  For my most recent magical working, I took advantage of the close walls and put my hands against them while pushing my feet into the floor.  I chanted, calling the land, sea, sky, fire, well, and tree to be present in my altar.  I invited the Kindreds to my personal sacred space and charged the whole lot of it.  It was a rush, and the empowerment will only continue through use.

For me, this wasn't as much about creating a safe place to practice magic as it was about creating a personal, welcoming place for the Kindreds I am closest to.  At the moment, I am not calling on any truly chaotic or infernal beings.  If there is a dangerous nature spirit, ancestor, or lower God lurking about, I would like to believe that the very powerful Dagda, Brighid, and Manannan will help to keep me safe.  At the moment, I am content making a peace offering to the chaotic spirits and asking for the elements not to destroy me.  Should I ever seek wisdom from Bres, the Cailleach, or Balor, then I would most certainly consider more protection.  For now, I will work to form closer ties with the beings who bless me.

* When I was experimenting with Wicca my altar was on a shelf behind my bed and then on a little book stand.  They tended to gather dust.  What an adorable neophyte I was!  
( For My LJ Friends: )

Sapling Tree Spirit!

One of my most recent creations - a birch sapling tree spirit.

( For My LJ Friends: )

Monday, November 8, 2010

Starhawk at Greenfest 2010

Starhawk is on Treehugger.

( For My LJ Friends: )

Magically Mundane Mondays - Hug a Tree

Although I'm not finished with my Magic 1 essays, I have started to read books on ogham for Divination 1.  I'm not merely looking at the course as a way to learn about divination.  I see learning ogham as a next step in my magical practices.  Not only can it be used as a way to commune with the spirits, but the symbols can be used in magical acts.  I also want to take this opportunity to grow closer to the trees.

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about crystals.  She was telling me about her sister and how she has a spiritual connection to amethyst.  I shared a story about friends of mine who are equally enamored with the crystal.  During this exchange, I admitted that I've never been very drawn to crystals in a spiritual way.  I find some stones more interesting than others, and I enjoy learning the correspondences and symbolism, but I've never felt a pull to learn crystal healing or such.  I thought about it later and realized that what I am drawn to are trees and other plants.  I am interested in their properties, healing potential, symbolism, and history.  I don't discount the divine significance of crystals, but my talents do not reside within that realm.

After work, before delving into anything else, I put my green galoshes on, trudged through the muddy hedges, and went into the forest.  It was cold.  The deciduous trees were practically bare.  The setting sun sent an orange, misty light through the woods.  There weren't any mosquitos or flies.  There was a stillness broken only by a crow flying north and my own footsteps and whispers to the kindreds.  I found myself near a birch tree and I spoke to it, touched, it, hugged it and just sat for a time.  I felt the stillness and firmness of the tree.  I felt the sleep of winter.  I heard the rustle of wind through pine needles.  I saw the still waters of the marshland slowly reclaiming territory amidst the other birch and younger trees.

I encourage you to go out and hug a tree, as silly as that sounds.  Literally hug it and be silent.  Close your eyes for a little, then open them.  Watch.  If a tree is not for you, find a rock, a flower, a moss-covered hill.  Git outside and be still.  Open yourself to the aged wisdom and chaos around you.  If anything, you will feel more relaxed for it.

( For My LJ Friends: )

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Artist Trading Cards and Temporary Foot Tattoos

As previously mentioned, The Artisan Guild in ADF has started making and exchanging artist trading cards.  It's such a neat idea - I had to be in on it!  Here's the card I made and sent to Dohle.

The lighting wasn't the best when I took the photo (I should really get around to making a light box...) but you can see the important bits.  Dohle expressed a fondness for rowan trees and the Goddess Epona so I tried to put them together.  I usually don't do much appliqué or embroidery so this was fun for me.  The edges were difficult...  I decided to go with a simple repeated zig-zag stitch but I worry that it wasn't neat looking.  Next time I shall try something new.  That said, I'm very happy with how my first trading card turned out.

This is the card I received from Brighde.  She knew I adore my patroness Brighid, so she made a beautiful collage featuring the Goddess.  It's hard to see in the photo, but above her are the words "Tonight the world is dark but your flame burns brightly."  I want to find a frame for it and place it near my Brighid altar!

Finally, here's something my husband did to me with a sharpie when I was fixated on something else.  It turned out pretty well for something drawn free-hand!  It's turned me on to the idea of getting a small tattoo on my foot.  I already have a lovely triquetra on my back so I'm thinking about a triskelion. 

( For My LJ Friends: )

Friday, November 5, 2010

In Which I Struggle Through Magic 1

I think I'm finished with exit question 1 of Magic 1.  For now anyway.

I now believe that one reason I stalled on the essays is because the first question is, in my opinion, worded so awkwardly.  "Discuss the importance of the action of the magico-religious function as it is seen within the context of the general Indo-European culture."  Over the past few months, as I read book after book on magic, I would return to the first exit question to see if I felt confident to try it.  It always felt jagged going into my brain.  It always sounded convoluted coming out of my mouth. 
  I still worry that I don't know enough to answer the questions.  I'm probably over-thinking things, but I realized that I now know a lot more about the Greek and Roman perceptions of magic than the Celtic.  I tried to find some old Irish legal manuscripts dealing with magic, but they either haven't been translated yet or are buried in another law text concerned with something more general.  I know from prior reading that the concept of a witch or a sorcerer who practices dark magic exists in Irish lore, but I don't know if those aspects are demonized through Christianity or not.  If the ancient Greek and Roman Pagans allowed for conceptions of marginal, ethically questionable magicians, it's certainly possible that the ancient Celts felt the same way.  That said, the Greeks and Romans were afraid of people who threatened the social balance.  The Celts, on the other hand, have examples of public cursing resulting in the fall of kings -  major social change!  However, the cursing is usually justified because it was the king himself who threw the system out of balance!

Raaarg.  I have a headache.  At least I'm finally starting my essays.

( For My LJ Friends: )

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I Envy You Professional Pagans...

I envy the professional witches and druids out there.  It's not that I dislike my career.  I get a lot of fulfillment out of it and find that it's quite compatible with Druidism.  But when I come home, I'm so exhausted.  I focus on my artwork because a) it's spiritually fulfilling to me and b) it's easy to focus on while relaxing in front of a show (unless I'm using a sewing machine...  then it's impossible).  Free weekends are few and far between.  There's always something happening.  A ritual an hour and a half away.  Family visitations.  Socializing with friends.  Vacation.  Craft shows.

I envy the professional witches and druids who have time to really focus on more than one aspect of their spirituality.  They have the time and energy to, not only craft, but study herbalism, meditate for long periods, take nature walks, study the lore, write essays and/or books, practice divination, and serve the greater community.  I want that!  That is, at least, my goal for retirement.

One of the biggest reasons I started the Initiate Study Program was because I wanted a structured way to help me explore the other areas of Druidism - trance, magic, liturgy, language, etc...  I've found myself moving through it slowly - not out of boredom or disinterest!  I merely have little time and energy.  That said, I don't want to give up.  I know that, if I sit down and focus, I'll be able to finish Magic 1 (at least a first draft) very soon.

Taking a sick day has helped me once again realize just how little time and energy I usually have.  I took that day and finished the book I had been picking at for months.  I started to organize my notes on it and even started answering the questions.  I had time and energy - it felt amazing.  I felt like I was getting somewhere in my Druidic studies.  In the summer I felt so alive.  I had free time to walk in the woods, explore the plants in the hedges, tend my herbs, etc...  Now it's back to the grindstone and back to feeling  spiritually stifled.

Except for art.  It's the one thing I cling to when everything else goes to the back burner.  I really need to focus on and cultivate that.  Perhaps it's a calling?

Anyway, I find myself questioning my routine and my priorities.  Should I just focus on art and try to make time for meditation and as my schedule and energy levels allow?  Or should I attempt to make myself a schedule?  I like structure and routine, for the most part.  I could benefit from, at the very least, an attempt to meditate/trance once or twice a week on a set day when Weretoad is working.  That could be a start.  Then perhaps I could schedule myself a day to walk in the woods?  A day to study?  It all goes against what should be my Sagittarian nature, but I need to do something to feel more balanced.

Any suggestions?

( For My LJ Friends: )

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sick Days

Today I took a sick day.  I hesitated to do it because I'm not hacking out a lung, don't want to get too behind in work, and hate having to call in, but I really needed to.  I should have yesterday.  I felt like rubbish all day.  I was able to get my work done and interact well with others, but I felt uncomfortable.  My stomach was acting up and, in addition, I've had a sore throat and cough for a few days.  I also feel like I'm burning up at times.  Because my job revolves around communication, and because I don't want to get any worse, I took today as a day of rest.  I slept in, had a cup of tea, and plan to gargle salt water and just relax.  I should also use my neti pot.  I think my sore throat is due to a nasal drip.  Yuck.

Sometimes I guess you just need such a time - a day in.  Today is a good day to work on Magic 1.  I really need to finish that course.  I've been working on it for months...

( For My LJ Friends: )