New Look!

Woah...  Blogger added a million more template and background options...  I like it!  Behold the new and improved "Ditzy Druid!"  I liked the image of the path through the woods.  The symbolism should be fairly obvious, but I also chose it because I love being in the woods.  I don't spend enough time there, but when I do I feel more at peace.


[ For my LJ friends, please visit me at: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ ]

Thinking About Storms

The sky is overcast and it's a little windy out.  It rained earlier.  I wish it would storm.  I haven't experienced a good storm in I don't know how long.  You know?  The loud kind that causes lights to go out and everyone gathers in one room to cuddle in blankets while listening to the majesty of nature?  I'd love one of those...

Now if it were to happen tonight, I would like my husband to be home from work so I can cuddle with him under a blanket.

I love storms but I don't feel like I have any real connection to storm spirits or Gods*.  At least not in my hearth culture.  Whenever I hear thunder, my thoughts first turn to Thor - not to Taranis.  I don't feel any pull to the Gaulish deities, actually.  My husband has this "thing" with Thor.  I say it like that because he doesn't worship him or necessarily consider him real**.  To Weretoad, Thor is an entity (mythical, fictional, or real) to be admired.  He bonds with him through comics like Marvel's "Thor" or Eric Evensen's "Gods of Asgard***."  My husband thinks Thor is "cool" but in a distant way and I so dig it.

Weretoad is agnostic but we actually have more spiritually in common than most think.  For example, I'm pretty agnostic about some things - like the afterlife - and we are both animistic to some degree (although he doesn't label himself as such).  Needless to say, my agnostic, semi-animistic Thor fanboy gets along quite well with myself and other ADFers most of the time.

There was a time I worried about our religious differences.  I wish I could go back and whisper in my younger self's ear about how compatible we really are, how we're happily married, and how I can't wait for a thunderstorm so that the two of us can cuddle up and think about the amazing Thor throwing Mjöllnir around****.



*Really, my life is more consumed in art and study, so the patrons I have are very fitting!  I'm not complaining at all. :)


**Nor does he consider him unreal.


*** "Gods of Asgard" is very good.  I'm not as well-read on Norse mythology, but from what I know it seems in tune with the lore.




**** We both grinned giddily when Mjöllnir appeared after the credits ran for Ironman 2.  :P


[ For my LJ friends, please visit me at: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ ]

Website Envy and Other Things

I felt really ill yesterday due to hormonal issues.  I accomplished nothing after work.

I don't feel fully restored tonight, but I've already been more productive than yesterday!  I did some work on a doll and did a quick ritual to promote healing in the areas surrounding the oil spill.  CedarLight Grove is encouraging everyone to take part, even if it's just through meditation.

Speaking of CedarLight Grove, do they not have an amazing website?  I hate to say this, because I'm very proud of my grove otherwise, but I totally have website envy.  Ours looks really out of date...  Heck, even some of the information is old.  I don't even want to link to it right now because it's kind of embarrassing...  I really want to offer Skip a hand but, at the same time, I don't want to step on any toes...  Maybe he's just been really, really busy with ArchDruid business and, now that he's "retired," he'll have more time for that?    I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

In other news, I'm trying to clean the house.  My family is visiting this weekend and hubby and I have been so lazy!  Despite the existence of a designated "art room," we tend to bring most of our projects into the living room.  I think the problem is a lack of surface area in the art room.  I'm going to be keeping my eyes open for a table to put in there.  Maybe that will help?

[ For my LJ friends, please visit me at: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ ]

I shot my first large gun.  The recoil surprised me, causing me to shriek and throw the gun after firing.  Luckily it's only a single shot so the gun was empty!  My complete lack of grace was redeemed by the fact that I actually hit the target - a stationary clay pigeon. 

After that we took a walk along the Mohawk River.  It was wonderful to be outside.  Everything is turning green.  We saw some little fish as well as several invasive zebra mussels on the rocks.  I greeted the river Goddess - I didn't really have anything to offer other than my respect. 

I brought one of my ISP books with me.  The men-folk are playing the new Splinter Cell video game so I might as well take advantage of my time and study!  

Spring is in the Air

It's lovely to finally see some buds and even flowers on trees!  As corny as this may sound, it fills me with such joy.  The renewal of life is a marvelous thing.  

My husband is very excited today because he's getting a gun.  We're then going to some land to do target practice.  I've never shot anything other than a bee bee (beebee? bee-bee?) gun before.  I have no idea if I'll have fun or not.  It will be nice to go outside and spend time among the blossoming trees.

Catechism for a Witch's Child

I have no idea where I originally found this, but it was saved in a desktop folder.  I think it's a lovely poem.

Catechism for a Witch’s Child

By J. L. Stanley

When they ask to see your gods

your book of prayers

show them lines

drawn delicately with veins

on the underside of a bird's wing

tell them you believe

in giant sycamores mottled

and stark against a winter sky

and in nights so frozen

stars crack open spilling

streams of molten ice to earth

and tell them how you drink

a holy wine of honeysuckle

on a warm spring day

and of the softness

of your mother who never taught you

death was life's reward

but who believed in the earth

and the sun

and a million, million light years

of being

Another Sketch*

I did this yesterday after work.  I wanted to sit outside on the patio and sketch something, deciding on a fallen oak leaf.  I borrowed a stone from my "fairy pot" to keep the wind from blowing it away.  I had a lot of fun with this drawing and am really proud of how it turned out.  The sun was setting when I drew it which created some really great shadow effects.  Unfortunately, by the time I was ready to make that shadow behind the leaf, the sun had dipped behind the trees so I had to guess.  I much prefer drawing leaves to teacups and Xbox controllers!



* For my lj friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/

Happy Times!

Three things to mention before a busy evening:

1) Spring!  Spring!  Spring!  The sun is shining, the earth is getting warmer, I hear birds singing, and I see buds on the trees!  (I'm sorry if this exceeds my bubbly quota.)

2) I'm actually going to go to a CUUPS meeting tonight.  I'm dragging my poor husband because I'm nervous about going by myself.

3) I was officially accepted into the Initiate Study Program!  EEEE!  I need to order more books!

My Place Among the Nature Kindred

Last night I got into a somewhat heated discussion on otherkin, vegetarianism, and animal rights on the ADF IRC chat.   A couple of members who believe they are otherkin brought up a publication and I asked them a couple things about being otherkin which kind of started it all.  You see, when I first heard of otherkin several years ago, I thought to myself, "huh.  That's interesting.  I wonder if that's why I'm so drawn to cats?"  I never really thought much more about it though.  Last night's discussion kind of forced me to think about otherkin again and articulate my thoughts about my own relationship with the animal kingdom.

Animal rights and vegetarianism can be very divisive issues as last night proved.  There are scientific sides to the arguments, but when push comes to shove, a lot of what a person believes is based on UPG and their own concept of animism.  And that is fine.  I know I can't push someone to see the world as I do anymore than they can push me.  Some of you who know me better understand that I think animals and humans are no better or worse than the other.  We are equal.  I believe that we have different talents and purposes, but that we aren't somehow better.  As I thought about it last night, I realized that the Druidic concept of "a gift for a gift" is very much a part of my understanding of the natural world.

Don't misunderstand me.  I understand that animals can be cruel to each other.  Cats torture small prey and monkeys wage wars on each other.  Etc etc etc.  What we call "human nature" may very well be "animal nature."  I think humans are capable of forming symbiotic relationships with animals and here is where the trouble begins.  I have no problems with people who raise animals on farms or who hunt.  Our ancestors seemed to understand the spiritual side of this as well.  I'm generalizing my studies, but there are plenty of people who thanked their kill or left offerings to guardians of the hunt or livestock.  Brighid, a guardian of domesticated animals, could be thanked for the milk.  She is a protector of dairy giving creatures - maybe even one of them in some forms. (That is my own UPG.)  I don't find deity to be limited to the human form.  If anything, I get the impression that the Gods are real forces and we gave them avatars or they chose visages that we would feel more at ease around.
Back to reciprocity.  We give cats and dogs shelter and food and they keep our homes free of vermin, help us hunt, drive our sleds, entertain us, etc.  We both give each other love.  I feel that, today, while we may have that symbiotic, "gift for a gift" relationship with our pets, we've lost it with the greater wild kingdom.  Instead of giving our cattle a comfortable home in exchange for milk and meat, a majority of them live in horrible conditions and are beaten.  We rape our forests in the name of profit.  We plant a tree here and there but is that enough?  Perhaps the forests, especially the rain forests, have given us enough and our gift back needs to be rest and lots of it while we learn to better recycle what we already have.  (Desertification is a very real and growing problem right now.  Mama Earth will be fine but what about the many humans displaced?  What about the countless number of plants and animals killed in the process due to human greed?)

This brings me back to otherkin.  I'm not convinced that I am one.  There are days, it's true, when I suffer from "green guilt," but I am not about to forsake my humanity.  There is plenty about it that I love - especially the arts.  I do not know if nature spirits have their own art - they might! - but I am enamored with human art whether it is painting, sewing, dancing, or song.  And while there are horrible, greedy people out there, I find that a majority of humans are kind-hearted and well-intentioned (if ignorant - but aren't we all that way in certain areas?).

I do not really think that I am a cat stuck in a human body.  I am more inclined to think that maybe I was a cat in a previous life (some would argue that makes me an otherkin) or that the cat is a symbol I am repeatedly drawn to, physically and spiritually - a symbol representing the lessons I need to learn in this life, my shadow, or, perhaps my animus (one of my spirit guides is a male lynx after all...)

I do not reject the animal in me anymore than I reject the human.  If anything, I am trying to find a balance between my human and natural side.  I can't escape my humanity - doing so would mean leaving behind the people and activities I adore.  But I feel like it would be irresponsible of me to ignore my inner animal and, thus, my connection to all of nature.  My inner animal is my empathy with other creatures - the drive of my vegetarianism and my desire to do less harm to Mama Earth and my brothers and sisters in the natural world.  I want to be closer to them, to better understand my place in the cosmos - not as their master, but as their sibling.

I don't have an idealized vision of Eden where I'm lounging with the lion as fearlessly as the lamb.  I know enough about the cruelty of nature having lived in such proximity to it for years.  I'm under no illusions and am aware of the chaos and the destruction necessary for the renewal.  Just as human siblings quarrel and don't see eye to eye, we compete and become annoyed with our nature kin.  But we must learn to live with them and love them somehow because we are all connected.  At the moment, I think our relationship is imbalanced and consisting of more "take" than "give."

Perhaps my connection with the cat (and now my growing connection with the fox) is more shamanic than anything else.  I am inspired by them and seek spiritual union.  There are lessons for me in these forms.  The carnivorous cat has taught me to respect and value the hunter - no small feat for a vegetarian!  What else can they teach me?  And in the meantime, what can I do for them to return the favor?

Spirals

A friend over on live journal (fire_is_born) recently posted about pentacles and how they weren't his favorite magical symbol. He concludes that "there's something unnerving about all those harsh acute angles everywhere, jutting about menacingly." Although I never really gave it much thought before, I find myself agreeing with him. The pentacle is a fine symbol, and although I can find it in nature from time to time (like in the apple), I find the spiral so much more comforting and accessible. You find it in the unfurling fiddlehead (as pictured); in subtle and violent whirlpools; in powerful tornados and hurricanes; in the coils of a shell; in the flow of the very universe itself.

Fire_is_born gave me the idea to physically make the spiral in ritual when opening the gates. I'm definitely going to try that when I do my next ritual. I know that Kirk spins in a spiral when he leads. I sometimes use spirals in magic. For example, whenever I'm worried about getting pregnant, I draw a counterclockwise spiral over my abdomen accompanied by a prayer. I've drawn spirals in the air over newly planted seeds in the hope to inspire growth.

My actions should provide a window into my interpretation of the symbol. It represents the continual flow of time and our interconnectedness with everything in the universe. It's the circle of the year and the change of the seasons. It's the never-ending story of creation and destruction.

For some more beautiful spiral imagery, check out Original Beauty, a wonderful blog with inspiring photos.