A Holly, Jolly Solstice

Weretoad and I had a lovely Winter Solstice!  I was so excited and in a festive mood.  While he was away at work, I finished wrapping gifts, put on some Solstice music, and lit the tree.  It's the only night we leave it on and it's a great reminder of what we're celebrating.

I also busied myself preparing the feast you see at left.  I made a vegetarian roast with baked scallions, carrots, and potatoes.  I also made fresh bread, steamed brussels sprouts, and bread pudding.  Mmmm...carbs... Magical, wonderful carbs!

In addition, I brought home cranberries and made popcorn to turn into garlands.  We did that after our ritual.  After discussing what we should do, Weretoad and I decided to honor the Nature Spirits who have to struggle through the bitter cold.  It is a hard time to be wild.  Many creatures die.  Food is scarce.  We forget that in our warm homes with our stocked larders.  Our main offering was the garland which we put on the little spruce we keep on our patio.  Next year I would like to do more for deities as well but I'm still uncertain as to who I should honor.  Should I visit the Norse deities of my Germanic ancestors and honor Odin as he rides through the sky?  Should I honor the Cailleach as the crone of winter?  Should I give praise to Angus as he is associated with New Grange and thus the Winter Solstice?  I lean more towards the latter two...  I guess we'll see what next year brings.

We went a bit overboard on gifts this year.  In years past we kept a tradition - three large gifts and three stocking stuffers.  This year...  we kind of forgot and got lost in the joy of giving to each other.  We really need to restrain ourselves next year.  That said - I got some lovely gifts from my husband!  In addition to some shiny and practical items, he also contributed to my growing Pagan library. I got a recycled three ring cardboard binder - something I want to use to make my new Druidic grimoire.  I also received The Black Pullet (an old grimoire) and Witchcraft Medicine: Healing Arts, Shamanic Practices, and Forbidden Plants by Claudia Muller-Ebeling, Christian Ratsch, and Wolf-Dieter Storl Ph.D.  (For my birthday a week ago, he gave me Toads and Toadstools: The Natural History, Mythology and Cultural Oddities of this Strange Association by Adrian Morgan.)  Needless to say, I have a ton of new books to enjoy and learn from!  Squee!

Today I am busying myself with last minute gift sewing and wrapping.  Yes, I still "celebrate" Christmas with my vaguely Christian family.  I love the excuse to see them. They know I consider the gifts I give them to be Solstice gifts just as the ones they give me are for their own holiday of giving and love.  We somehow meet on common ground.  At the same time, I look forward to having my own large home and throwing wonderful Winter Solstice parties for the whole family...  Some day...  This year, I enjoyed my quiet Solstice with Weretoad. :)

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Grey Catsidhe's 21 Days of Solstice Music!

I'm back from a successful and amazing craft show!  I will post more about that some other time.  For now I need to catch up on the 21 Days of Solstice Music!  Eeep!

Let's start off something psychedelic.


"Shaman Spirit Reindeer of Siberia" by Magicfolk is one of the most interesting holidays songs I've ever heard.  The music video is bizarre but playful*.  I can't help but love it.  You see, each December I find myself contemplating the complex origins of Santa Claus.  Was he a Christian saint?  Is he the modernized, transformed winter Odin or Thor?  Is he a demi-God?  Or was he originally a reindeer shaman in Siberia?  (There are whole books dedicated to that possibility.)

The next selection cannot be embedded so I'll link it here.  It's Jesse L. Martin singing "Abundance and Charity" from "The Christmas Carol" musical.  I'm posting this because the Ghost of Christmas Present reminds me of An Dagda.  The actor in this video isn't how I imagine An Dagda looking, but the Good God is all about providing for the tribe.  His cauldron makes sure everyone gets what they're due.  Sometimes that magic manifests in us and inspires us to take care of each other.  (Perhaps there's a little bit of An Dagda in Santa?)  He is also, in my experience, all about enjoying life.  Food (his cauldron and ability to pack it in), music (his magical harp), and sex/flirting are some of his specialties.  The actor in this clip really captures that.




Here's a classic - "The Christians and the Pagans" by Dar Williams. It's another one of those songs that can (should) be common ground for multi-religious families.  It captures the real meaning of this time of year - coming together as a tribe, no matter our differences, to celebrate the season and love.



Finally, I couldn't celebrate the Winter Solstice and the sun without George Harrison's "Here Comes the Sun."  Ok, so it's not what most consider a traditional holiday tune, but 1) I'm a huge Beatles fan and 2) it's all about the sun and how its "coming" gives us happiness and reassurance - even in the cold of winter.

Join me tomorrow for the final selection!

* I totally own the dragon plush they use...

( For My LJ and FB Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Grey Catsidhe's 21 Days of Solstice Music!

Another chunk of songs for your Solstice enjoyment!

We'll start with something more serious.  This one was a suggestion from a reader (onelittlepagan) - a Paganized version of "In the Bleak Midwinter" by Craig Olson.  The images of an actual Solstice celebration are beautiful.  What a lovely home!  Thanks for sharing, onelittlepagan!  I had only ever heard the Christian version and this cover, I find, works well.



How about a song about nissers, spirits from Norway and Denmark who are basically gnomes?  They've become associated with both Christmas and Solstice.  Many families leave porridge with a pat of butter out for them during the holidays.  Perhaps nissers are in Santa's spiritual DNA?  I wouldn't discount it.  I don't know if I have any Norwegian blood in me (if I do, it's from a very, very long time ago...) but my husband does.  I wonder if there are nissers around, just waiting for us to befriend them?  Anyway, this adorable little song is called "Jeg Tror Der Findes Nisser" ("I Think There are Gnomes") by Thomas Kjellerup.





And while we're dealing with European spirits, what Solstice would be complete without The Krampus Christmas Song?  While Nissers can have a malicious streak if crossed, the Krampus is a bit terrifying.  Meeting him and his birch whipping rod is way worse than getting coal.  Krampus is a huge tradition in parts of Europe (and even some parts of America).  On a certain day of the year, several adults will dress up as Krampus and roam the streets to frighten children with old chains.  Some even lightly hit people.  Sounds fun, to me!




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Excited for Tonight

Visiting family usually means that my mental discipline goes out the window.  Not that I've had much recently in regards to religion...  With a craft show coming up, my free time is filled with more sewing than meditation, ritual, or spellwork.  I even brought my work with me so I can create while visiting family.  So far I've made a small dragon and another mushroom spirit.  I'm in the middle of working on a larger doll.  I think I'll have a nice collection of whimsy available for the craft show!

Obviously I have my hands full and am mentally distracted.  I brought my traveling altar with me and did a quick devotional on Thursday evening.  Otherwise it's hard to find a private, quiet time to do anything.  I pray or chant to myself.  My Gods, while they do like attention, are not so full of condemnation when I cannot visit my altar each day.  They hear my whispered prayers, I think.  They are tribal Gods and seem to understand the importance of family time.  My patroness is pleased by art and, to me, sewing is a way of bringing her honor because she is my muse.  It is a different sort of ritual and I am coming to terms with that.  There is a sort of magic in art - that cannot be denied. 

  My family is not Pagan, although some of them have animistic tendencies.  They are accepting of my beliefs, and I am free to talk about them, but I do not go out of my way to rub their noses in it.  I may pray in front of them from time to time, as I did for Thanksgiving, or discuss my ways, but I generally find myself a quiet corner to perform any rites in.  I prefer it that way.  I don't want to be a spectacle. 

Not tonight!  Tonight will be full of magic and socializing - with my witchy friends in Utica!  Since moving to the North Country, my old Pagan pals stopped meeting openly.  The high priestess*, my dear friend, has learned a lot from her teachers and she is forming her own coven/circle/study group**.  They've continually made it known to me that, no matter my path or where I roam, I'm always welcomed to join them.  I've started to take them up on that offer.  I miss the frequent magic and Pagan fellowship.  Between ADF rituals and amidst so much work, this is exactly what I need. I cannot exactly put into words exactly what I feel about working with them all except to say that we've all grown.  There is a palpable trust and understanding between us which allows me to feel very comfortable and welcomed despite my different ways.  I think we intersect on our love of folk magic and academic study.  The high priestess and one of the others seem more and more influenced by traditional witchcraft - something I am also continually drawn to.  I feel like Druidism is my religious path, but traditional witchcraft can fit very nicely in there.  This is something I'm still exploring, and the group in Utica is just what I need.  I'm so excited for later.  :)

*I am not sure if she is comfortable being called such, but, to me, that is what she is and that is the role she plays.  In my opinion, it sounds less cult-like than "leader."  :P

** They are not actively calling it a coven, but I can see it going that way. And you know what?  I've grown spiritually since a couple years ago and find myself comfortable being a part of that.  Totally another entry for another day...

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Looking at Death

We spent Thanksgiving with our parents this year.  Weretoad's mother visited us and we all went down to my parents'.  Weretoad and I brought the tofurky.  I cooked it in a crock pot surrounded by sweet potatoes and carrots.  Oh my Gods, it was delicious!  We don't eat many processed faux meats.  We tend to stick with straight beans or homemade bean patties.  When I'm feeling a bit lazy, or when Thanksgiving rolls around, Tofurky is relatively guilt free.  While it's still a processed product, it's not made from genetically modified or non-organic soy.  I feel pretty good about eating it. 

I've been learning more about Buddhism recently.  I don't know why, but my interest in it has increased.  There are obvious differences between it and modern Druidism, but there are also similarities.  It fascinates me, especially in regards to compassion.  There is a story about The Buddha attending a planting festival.  Instead of watching the dancers, he focused on the bugs and their eggs.  He thought about how the people digging into the soil had to disturb them, possibly kill them, in order to grow their crops.  This event is said to have helped inspire his philosophy on compassion.  This, in turn, inspired many Buddhists to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle.  I've been thinking a lot about this recently.  No matter how hard I try to be compassionate towards the natural world, I can only do so much without killing myself.  Even the most dedicated fruititarian will inevitably harm one creature, if only through the cultivation of vegetable matter to consume.  Some may look at this and say, "Well then why give up meat?  You cannot escape the circle of life entirely.  You might as well embrace it."  The thing is, I'm not trying to escape the cycles of nature - I am still a part of them but in a different why than a meat eater.  I experience the cycles differently now that I try not to consume the flesh of my fellow brother and sister animals.  I do what I can  - I seek a balance. There must be a balance of compassion for the Nature Spirits and ourselves.  That balance will be different for each of us depending on the lessons we need to learn and the diet our bodies need.  We should not punish our bodies.  Even The Buddha recognized that killing our bodies for spiritual goals was not healthy.  Everything must be balanced.

We have entered to season of death.  Our ancestors culled the herds and this tradition continues to this day with hunting season.  Since moving to the North Country, I have seen more deer hanging from trees in front of homes.  Every time I see one, I think of Odin hanging from the World Tree, starring down at the roots, seeking wisdom.  I wonder where the deers' souls have ventured as the blood drains from their bodies.  I marvel that the corvid family is not there to taste their flesh.  As the nights grow colder and hunters work to stock their freezers, I've seen them peel the flesh from the deer.  I've seen the gleaming muscles and tendons revealed.  Weretoad looks away.  He has his reasons and I respect them.  I stare.  I find myself fascinated with the process.  I feel for the deer, but there is something fundamentally more sacred about the relationship between the hunter and the hunted than the shopper and the package of meat. I think of that as I stare.   That is not to say that I don't respect the people buying locally farmed and butchered animals - that is also better than buying factory farmed meat.  But one must admit - when it is you hunting/raising, killing, and then skinning the animal...  you enter an intimate dance with the forces of life and death.  It is more than simply being in touch with the land and the agricultural cycles - you are getting in touch with the real essence of mortality. Some of this may be my romanticized, Paganized, outsider perspective, but have talked to people who hunt or raise their own food - some of whom are very close friends and family - I am not alone in thinking these things.

It seems obvious, but there is a difference between killing a plant and an animal.  The only difference is that we can relate more to the animal because of its similarities to us.  I stop and stare at the gutted, dripping, shimmering corpses.  They are like me.  That could be me.  I am reminded of Ricky Fitts from "American Beauty" and his facination with dead people and animals.  When asked why he films them, he says, "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."  He admits to seeing beauty in what is otherwise uncomfortable and grotesque.  I still feel uncomfortable, but I look anyway and try to feel what the hunter might have felt (if he was the respectful sort like my soon to be brother-in-law).

I read a blog entry recently about what is arguably the most humane way to kill a turkey.  The author described the event, how the animal's brain died before its body.  The convulsions made a woman who had never seen this cry and feel for the animal.  Even the author admitted to always feeling something of pity for the creature.  He explained that being there to witness the death of the animal is the price a human should pay for eating it.  To eat the fruit of death, a human must pay the price of being reminded of his or her own mortality.  It was a fascinating perspective, and one perfectly in-line with Druidism' belief in a gift calls for a gift or sacrifice. 

I think that is why I stare.  I don't experience that exchange as vividly in my garden.  If I kill anything as I till or dig, I do not see it.  I move anything large enough to see.  I experience the death of flesh distantly, but I still feel I must somehow experience it and whisper soft prayers for the departed.  I must be reminded of my own mortality - not through animal activist videos - but through the vivid dance of the hunter and the deer.

In some ways, I suppose I stare for the same reason I stare in awe at the multitudes of stars at night.  I like to be reminded of how small I really am.  For some reason, that feeling is like a hug. 

Gods bless the deer and other game who have fed the multitudes this season.  May you run wild in the Other World!

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Little Things

When I have guests over, I do the usual and clean the apartment.  I take care of the physical tidiness, but I also do a little extra for the spiritual side of things.  Although having company resulted in a stressful Tuesday full of cleaning, fatigue, and the self-loathing that resulted in this post,  I made a point to do a little magic today.

Quite simply, I made an offering.  I chose a blend of incense known for it's purifying properties and offered it to Brighid.  She is my patroness but also a Goddess of the hearth and home.  I prayed to her that the negativity in our home be purified, and that it - and we - be as hospitable as possible to our guests.  A little thing like that can go a long way.  Amidst the hustle and bustle, I took a moment to stop and connect.  I feel that Brighid responded.

It is definitely the little things.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Letter to the Kindreds

Dear Kindreds,

I know I've been a bit distant recently.  My ritual last week was tired and rushed.  I forgot my usual peace offering for the Outdwellers.  I forgot to honor the bardic spirit until after I made an offering to the ancestors.  I forgot the ale but, luckily, had whiskey on hand.  It felt like one of my first rituals.  I was embarrassed and felt defeated.  My daily devotionals have been lackluster.  I've waited until the last moments to do them before I lazily drag myself to bed far too late.  I speak in hushed tones or in my head because my husband is often there getting ready for sleep.  The altar is in the bedroom and I feel exposed and/or distracted at times.  I know I should do my rituals and devotionals earlier when my husband is at work or busy in the living room, but I spend my time doing other things.  There are things that need to be done, like cleaning.  There are things that I feel called to do, like sew.  There are also huge wastes of time...  Most days, I just want to sit and relax after a long day of work.

I would blame leaving home and visiting family over the weekend for my disrupted routines, but it's really my own lack of discipline.

I hope you know that you're never far from my thoughts.  I see you in the trees, feel you on the breeze, hear you in my dreams, and experience you in my art.  I try to keep close, but sometimes I feel like a boat that, while tethered to the dock, has floated lazily away.  I don't know how others do it.  How do they complete their study programs so quickly?  How do they meditate so regularly without falling asleep?  How do they write articles and books?  How do they do all that while having a job and social life?

Great Kindreds, I will work harder to spend more time with you.  I will work on taking better care of myself and getting to bed sooner.  I will try to waste less time online. I will try harder...

With love,

Grey Catsidhe

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Samhain Snow

I woke up this morning, opened the bedroom curtains, and beheld my first snow of the year.  You can see it just starting to frost the Earth in the photo below.

I find it appropriate, somehow.  The ancient Celts saw Samhain as the end of the light half of the year - the summer months - and the beginning of the dark half of the year - the winter.  Although Samhain comes with the promise of new life, it is full of death.  The leaves are dying.  The creatures that cannot find shelter, hibernate, or migrate are dying.  Our ancestral spirits wander the Earth.  The pooka is about, waiting for his share of the harvest.  Anything left on the vine tomorrow will be his.  They will assume the shape of death and no longer be good for humans to eat. The snow is the final touch.  To me, it is the Earth Mother snuffing out the flame of summer for good.  It burned brightly this year, but now it is time for the green world excepting (of course, the strong and magical evergreens) to rest until next year.

The wheel of life turns.

My Samhain plans?

I used a rotting pumpkin to create ZOMBIE PUMPKIN!  The nails just make it for me.  :)

On a more serious note, I moved my altar - including my ancestor shrine.  I hung photos of various ancestors on the wall (Weretoad's grandfather was wobbly until Weretoad himself fixed the frame).  I included a wall sconce on which I can light candles and leave small offerings.  I would like to make or find a small shelf on which I could place larger offerings.  I will probably move items on my main altar to create a dumb supper for our ancestral spirits tonight.

Last night I attended Muin Mound Grove's celebration.  We cleaned the nemeton, put our jack-o-lanterns around the hedges, and honored the ancestors, as well as Dagda and the Morigan, through fire, song, libation, and sacrifice.  The omens were good.  They spoke of building community and protection from the spirits.  

Inside we had a wonderful feast of corn and black bean salad, red beans and rice, lasagna, pumpkin bread, cranberry and orange bread, carrots, pumpkin seeds, and apple pie.  A portion of each was given to the ancestors first.  

Blessed Samhain to you and yours!

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Ready or Not, Here Comes Samhain!

Samhain is my favorite holiday.  I love the Winter Solstice as well, but there's something about the magic of this liminal time...  Perhaps it's the vague boundaries, whimsical to ridiculous costumes, celebrations, harvest food, or simply the visible changes all around.  It's a great time of year and, for many, it's when magic and "energy" are most noticeable.  In my opinion, it's because Samhain and Halloween seem to officially usher in the holiday season.  There's a thick anticipation in the air mixed with stress and joy.

Samhain snuck up on me this year.  I felt more prepared for it last year after planning my wedding.  I haven't even carved pumpkins yet, and I realized this morning that I forgot to buy turnips.  Since finding a home in Druidism, I've made the effort each year to make a traditional Irish jack-o-lantern with a turnip.  It's a small thing but I feel connected to my ancient ancestors when I do it.  Perhaps I still have time, but the fact that I've forgotten this long makes me sad.

In my defense, I have been very busy. I'm dressing as a woodland fairy this year and I made most of my costume from scratch.  I've also been working on the new Artist Trading Card project that the ADF Artisan Guild is starting!  I will be sending my contribution tomorrow and I hope the recipient likes what  I made.  I promise to post photos after it's been received.

I've also been working on other crafty projects in anticipation for an upcoming craft show in my home city.  Check out the latest tree spirit.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Bulleted Update

• I'm working on a fairy costume for Samhain.  I scrapped my original idea which involved a laced vest.  I'm going to try and make myself a chemise type dress with a girdle/faux corset thing around the chest.  I'm trying to go for an elegant but wild look, if that makes sense.  I bought ear tips and need to paint them...
• I'm signed up to participate in an artisan trading card exchange through the ADF Artisan Guild.  I'm excited about it but need to figure out what to do...  The deadline is approaching...  
• I really, really need to finish reviewing a DP that was resubmitted to me...  
• Work is draining me.  It was a short week and everything, but I return home and feel so out of it.  I just want to sit, watch things, and sew/crochet.  So...it's not like I'm being a total lazy bum, but there are definitely other things I need to work on.
• Still chugging along on Magic I.  
• Still chugging along through "The Two Towers."
• I've been slowly working on two dolls.  Their clothing is coming into existence.  I'd like to get a felting needle to help me with some accessories.  I also started another tree spirit yesterday.
• I've been really horrid about meditation recently.  My discipline gets completely out of sorts whenever I visit family.  I don't blame them at all - I blame myself.  Still, I see them so infrequently that I can't justify pulling away to be by myself when I'm down there.  I'm hoping to attend a meditation class at a local yoga center this coming week.  I hope it helps reenergize and refocus me.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Magically Mundane Mondays - Part 2: Visiting Graves

My husband and I had the day off so we decided to drive into the city and visit the grave of my great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother.  She was the last Irish immigrant on my father's side, so I was pretty amazed to find out that she spent her final days in the North Country.  My grandfather, who practices genealogy, really wanted me to visit her grave (not that he had to convince me - I was excited to visit and pay my respects).  When he first found it ages ago, he put up a stink because it was in a neglected, old cemetery that had become overgrown.  The way he spoke, I excepted that Weretoad and I would have some weeding to do.  When we arrived we were delighted to see that the city has been taking care of the site.  It's been mowed and fenced off.  My ancestor's resting place is shaded by a large tree with dark berries.  I've been trying to identify it from photos but I think I'll have to visit again to confirm...

I got the feeling that my ancestor was definitely at peace.  There was no negativity about the area at all.  Several animals (mostly chipmunks) had happily claimed the land as their own.  One even had a den under another grave stone.  Touching my ancestor's name and gravestone was interesting for me.  My blood came from this woman and she ties me to Ireland.  I thanked her for inviting me to visit and invited her to visit me in dreams or visions should she ever want to talk.  I left her a small pumpkin gourd as a gift.  I promised to return.  The area is so easy to reach - I hope to bring the rest of the family there someday soon.

Do you have a day off?  Take a moment to visit your ancestors.  Bring them a gift.  Talk to them.  You don't have to perform an intricate ritual to connect with the spirits of the past.  Some might call my adventure positively mundane.  Me?  I thought it was magical.  :)

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Various Random Things From This Weekend - Probably Quite Boring *

I've had an enjoyable weekend so far.  I was able to visit some of my family which is always wonderful.  My husband was able to spend a lot of time with his best buddy and our future brother-in-law (I'll call him Hunter).  Now that I'm older, I get along better with my sister (I'll call her Georgia).  It's fun to to be with her and her fiance.  It's always a very relaxed time, and Weretoad and I can be ourselves.  They always have a new drink for us to try that further inhibits us.

We took advantage of the visit to finally unveil our new car to the immediate tribe.  It's a lovely green hatchback with spectacular headlights which I like to think of as dragon eyes.  In fact, I fancy the whole car a dragon (symbolically, of course).  I've referred to it as a green dragon, but my husband cringes due to the drug reference.  It's been very difficult living in the North Country with only one car - and an old one at that.  We've already had some situations that made me feel uncomfortable and even helpless.  The public transportation system around here is practically non-existent.  There are buses that come to our area, but the hours are so limited that they don't fit into my husband's work schedule at all.  I need to adjust my sleep habits so I have time to walk to work in the morning.  I would really like to develop that habit as reducing my impact on Mama Earth is very important to me. We would have liked to find a hybrid, but they are out of our price range.  We did a lot of research and went for something that achieves decent miles per gallon and can assist us in transporting the kayaks we're getting for Solstice.

Now that we have a new car, I'm thinking about creating a protection charm to hang in it.  It will probably have something to do with Lugh.  The Romans equated him with Mercury, a patron of merchants and therefore travelers.  This opens up the possibility that the Celts (or at least the Gauls) saw him in this way too.  In the Irish myths, Lugh has to travel to the Tuatha de Dannan before he is accepted by them (perhaps a stretch...).  I have been praying to Lugh for protection on the road for years now and I feel that he has heard and helped me.

I spent some time this weekend working on my Samhain costume.  I'm planning to be a forest fairy.  I've got the pieces of the vest cut out and ready to be stitched together.  I found ear tips this weekend but will have to paint them.

Finally, my husband found a Victorian card with a green fairy on it while we were browsing in an antique store.  I absolutely had to have it.  She's Victorian, but not as silly looking as most fairies represented in that era.  I can't wait to display her on my wall.

* At least I'm writing a substantial post!  I haven't done that in a week it seems!


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

An Image-Heavy Update Of Druidic Proportions!

Life has been pretty busy this past week due to work, a death in the family, and plans with friends and family.  My craftiness has been slowed and, as work picks up, will probably stay that way for a few months.  I still have a DP to finish reviewing and an email from my mentee to look over and reply to.  I haven't done any work on my study programs this week, but did finish reading The Fellowship of the Ring by Tolkien.  It was such a fun read.  I pour over so much history and folklore recently that I don't often treat myself to more modern literature.  As I already have a copy of The Two Towers, I'm sure I'll be delving into that next!

What else is going on with the Ditzy Druid?

I went to the NY State Fair yesterday with my husband and a couple friends.  It was exhausting but fun.  Thankfully it wasn't as hot as it was the last time I went.  The temperature comfortably hung around the 60s all day.  I actually wore a sweater!  It was wonderful.

Anyway, I was able to take advantage of some of the state artisans and famers.  I bought some supplies for art and wildcrafting, such as the brick of beeswax at left.  I'm planning to make some herbal ointments soon, starting with a soothing jewelweed and witch hazel concoction for poison ivy rashes and other itchy irritations.  I must get the other ingredients soon!

I also bought some soy candles made by Canterbury Cabin of Greene, NY.  I picked out "Eucalyptus Avalanche" specifically for congestion and healing spells.  The "lemongrass and ginger" I'm planning to consecrate for cleaning and purification magic.  Can you tell that I'm big on candle magic?  The "Waterfall Mist" was Weretoad's favorite scent and I had to treat him. :)

Weretoad treated me to this lovely pewter figurine of Galadriel, one of my most favorite Lord of the Rings characters (along with Gandalf and Sam).  I was so excited when I saw her!  I'm not sure where to put her yet.  I'm thinking about near a mirror, along with other confidence-building trinkets.

I also bought myself a small pewter figure of a witch/sorceress.  My interest in Dungeons and Dragons was recently reawaken and I'm playing with some acquaintances.  My character is a sorceress.  You may be surprised to learn that this is my first time playing a caster.  The last few times I played I was a fighter/bard, a rogue, and a rogue/bard/exotic dancer cat person.  The spell casters have always intimidated me due to the amount of work that seems to go into them.  I would have played a Druid but one of my friends has never played before and seemed to have her heart set on that class so I let it go.  I would rather her enjoy her first experience.  Besides, I'm a real Druid every day!  Well...a ditzy Druid in training anyway.   Perhaps I'll post about D&D sometime.  I have a lot of thoughts about it in regards to Paganism.

I also stopped by the wool center to purchase some roving.  I want to try dying it for doll hair and spinning.

In other news, these are the skulls I found a little over a week ago.  They're all cleaned and bleached now.  Sarah Lawless, an experienced traditional witch and wildcrafter, thinks the larger skull belonged to an opossum.  I'm moved to agree after looking at more photos of opossum and fox skulls. You can especially see the features of half an opossum skull in these photos.  How fascinating, to be true!  Just as the authors of that blog describe, I was surprised to learn that this skull with very long and sharp teeth belonged to an opossum.  It's obviously not the first animal I thought of!  When you look at images of fox skulls, you can see the difference.  The opossum skull, for starters, has a ridge on the top whereas the fox skull is rounded.  Neat, huh?  The nature spirits teach us so much when we take the time to learn.

Finally, and in honor of the coming season, I give you the Autumn Oak Tree Spirit!  She's not quite finished (I want to buy another acorn button first), but is ready enough for me to share her with you.  I'm too excited about her to withhold this photo any longer!  I hope you like her!  My goal is now to make a tree spirit for each ogham character.  Next on my to-do list are willow and birch!

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

A Lovely Day Exploring the St. Lawrence River

I was recently diagnosed with bronchitis and prescribed medication.  I need to be careful with regards to sex and booze, but my doctor told me that I can go out as long as I cover my mouth when I cough.  Weretoad and I had planned for yesterday to be a "date night."  He was going to take me to a bar I wanted to go to, but that probably wouldn't have been a good idea so we did sober activities.

First we had dinner at The Mustard Seed.  As always they made delicious, meat-free meals.  Weretoad let me have some of his ratatouille wrap and I shared some spring rolls with him.  We each had some chili.  We decided to drive to Cape Vincent next just to see what it was like.  This included a detour to Tibbets Point where we saw gorgeous houses, a real light house, a mink cross the road, and the St. Lawrence joining with Lake Ontario.  We witnessed some absolutely beautiful scenery there.  Cape Vincent looks across to a wind farm.  I understand that several residents are unhappy about that, but I find them serene and lovely in their own way*.  I put my feet in the St. Lawrence for a bit and thought of the River Goddess.

Next we drove along the river until we reached Clayton.  They have their farmers' market on Thursdays and I was delighted to catch it.  We purchased some cookies, French bread, banana peppers, carrots, an onion, and a buttercup squash.  We then had some dessert and sat by the river while a band played.
It was kind of funny, actually.  Until I moved out of my parents' house, we used to go to Old Forge, NY almost every Sunday for a concert in the park.  There were usually rock-n-roll bands (which I love) that played a lot of Beatles, Elvis, Beach Boys, Rolling Stones, and such.  As the concert in Clayton started with some old fashioned doo-wop, I turned to Weretoad and commented that someday, when we're old, bands will start to play our generation's music in parks for free concerts.  Sure enough, this band played a number from Blink 182, Green Day, and several other contemporary bands.  I was amused, especially with all the older people dancing to "All the Small Things."  Heehee.  I hope I never lose my sense of youth when I'm older.

We ended the evening by watching the sun set along the St. Lawrence, chased by speed boats and slow steamers.  The rose and orange clouds piled up towards Canada, looking like the background of a majestic Thomas Cole painting.  We looked into the waves and I thanked the Kindreds for such a beautiful place and a wonderful day.  Even though our plans changed, we found joy by the life source of Northern NY in the presence of the River Goddess.


*Not to mention my appreciation for alternative energy!


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Living in Northern NY

As of August 6th, Weretoad and I have been residents of Northern NY for a year.  We moved up here from the Mohawk Valley last year.  It's been a bit of a transition.  I've been meaning to write about it.

In many ways, the North Country is similar to the Mohawk Valley.  It's still NY and therefore we witness similar plants and animals.  Each area enjoys productive agricultural areas and lovely rivers and/or canals.  We're a couple hours away from the Utica/Rome area, so I'm not seriously removed from my family and friends.

That said there are differences.  Few people see wild bears in the Mohawk Valley, but they're quite common up here, as are bobcats*.  There have even been lynx and cougar sightings.  This is probably because life up here is more agriculture than in the Mohawk Valley which is heavily urban and suburban except for a few happy exceptions.  The bigger animals haven't been driven out yet.

The rivers in the North Country seem more appreciated.  They are a central part of life here and not just something discussed in 4th grade social studies.  People celebrate our rivers.  Schools incorporate them into their songs.  The St. Lawrence is huge to our tourist industry, and many people who reside in this area enjoy it for sport, beauty, and sustenance.

The urban and suburban centers, while spread apart, have grown on me.  Alexandria Bay is kitschy but the views are beautiful and the swimming area is great on a hot day.  Clayton is one of my favorite places to go.  It seems to be the artistic center of Northern NY with its textile museum, antique boat museum,  studios, galleries, opera house, and art classes.  The view of the St. Lawrence is just as spectacular there.  The dining is also wonderful and vegetarian friendly.

Potsdam, an hour away from us, is a lovely college town full of cafes, international cuisine, boutiques, and access to the Raquette River.  There is art and academia, and it seems very pedestrian friendly.  I wish it were closer so I could live there!

Our city is Watertown.  While smaller than Utica, it seems cleaner and more alive.  There are many shops, restaurants, a huge and ornate library, and a thriving farmers market that is right in the middle of everything on Wednesdays (although parking is hard to find...) and a second, smaller one closer to the community college on Saturdays.

I am finding things to keep me busy outside of work and home.  There are a lot of classes that I would like to take advantage of when I have a little more money - yoga, sustainable/organic gardening, tai chi, weaving, drumming....  I've even found belly dancing classes a few towns away.  The CUUPs chapter is now providing me a place to practice Paganism more regularly with others.  A second New Age shop just opened up here.  The Mustard Seed in Watertown is my vegetarian cafe.  We have an amazing Thai restaurant, a decent Indian restaurant, and now have hibachi!  We are super close to the Saranac Lake, Lake Placid, Ottawa, and Montreal.  The military presence originally gave Northern NY a conservative feel, and I'm sure a majority of people here are very conservative, but the area is more diverse than that.    I'm feeling happier here and more at home, and that's even without me waxing poetic about how I have an amazing job with wonderful people!

There are things I miss.  The proximity to my family and friends is one of them.  My parents, especially my father, keep talking about moving up here.  They really like it.  I wish they would.  I miss seeing them as much as I used to.  There are things about Utica I miss as well: the amazing Stanley theater and the art museum mostly.  The Stanley gets Broadway shows and MWPAI has a spectacular collection as well as their affordable film series.  Weretoad and I used to take advantage of that all the time.  We also miss Minar, the Indian Restaurant in Utica.  The place in Watertown isn't bad - it's quite good really - but the environment at Minar was special.  The staff knew us and the decor was warmer feeling.  Utica also had more independent cafes.  I've found some in Clayton, Canton, and Potsdam, but Watertown only seems to have Paneera and the closest thin in my hometown is a Jrek's Sub Shop.

I also miss how close everything was in the Mohawk Valley.  Unless living in the extreme outskirts, it only took 15-20 minutes to get anywhere.  Up here, we have to drive 30 minutes to Watertown, 30 minutes to A Bay, 40 minutes to Clayton, 40 minutes to Canton, 1 hour to Potsdam...  It's annoying and stressful to someone who wants to be more environmentally friendly.  But even if I were to move to Watertown so I could be closer to everything there, I would then be 30 minutes from my job.  I can't win, aside from moving in between - which is what we'd like to do.  But, as the author of F that S says in her latest blog entry, living in the North Country comes with a lot of driving.  Her entry assuaged my inner guilt, reminding me that the little things one does to help the environment do add up.  Thanks for that!

While I'm certainly not close-minded to moving elsewhere down the road, I am finding myself happy here.  I have days or moments when I am annoyed by the driving, but that's really the worst part, and I want to focus on the best parts, of which there are many.

Here's to another year of exploration and growth in the North Country!


* I've not seen either yet, but my place of employment was on lockdown due to a bear once.


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Hail to Isaac!

I have a few other entries I would like to write, but today I must reflect on the passing of ADF's beloved founder, Isaac Bonewits.

I never had the pleasure to meet him in person, but like many others in the Pagan community, I was profoundly influenced by his work.    When I was a complete novice, I understood that he was a VIP*.  It wasn't until my friend Parallax lent me her copy of Bonewits's Essential Guide to Druidism that he truly inspired me.  At the time I was searching for something.  Wicca wasn't it for me** and I was feeling a pull from my Irish ancestors.  Through his vision of modern Druidism, and the organization he founded - Ár nDraíocht Féin - I found a spiritual home.    With that came a real sense of belonging and community.  I wish I could have met him in person on this plane to thank him.

His other books I read, NeoPagan Rites: A Guide to Creating Public Rituals That Work, The Pagan Man: Priests, Warriors, Hunters, and Drummers, and most recently Real Magic: An Introductory Treatise on the Basic Principles of Yellow Magic were all incredibly influential on my spirituality.  NeoPagan Rites facilitated my understanding of the importance of well-thought-out liturgy and the effect that good theater can have on one's psyche.  My husband originally wanted to read The Pagan Man and, while I don't think he got very far, I read the whole thing, reveling in the exploration of the spiritual male in a Pagan world that seems so focused on the female.  It's probably strange for a woman to say that, but hey - I'm just as drawn to the Gods as I am to the Goddesses!  I loved that Bonewits created such an important resource for men seeking spiritual guidance within Paganism.  Finally, I picked up Real Magic at the most recent Wellspring Gathering.  As some of you may remember, I'm working though ADF's Initiate Program, and am trying to complete Magic 1. Isaac's first book really changed the way I thought about magic.  His exploration of magic as divided into a spectrum of skill rather than morality was especially formative for me.


One of my Live Journal friends, prophet_maid, commented on the awkwardness she feels about mourning a celebrity, and that's very much what Isaac was/is within the Pagan community.  I never met him and yet I felt profoundly moved by his life and death.  It seems strange to mourn for someone I never met, but to those of us in ADF, he was an elder - a spiritual father, even.  He shared his vision and paved the way for us.  I can't exactly articulate what that means to me, but it was powerful enough that I lit candles and prayed for him to my patrons.  I now consider him one of my ancestors to be honored.  As prophet_maid said of herself, Isaac shaped me into the woman I am today and that cannot be ignored.

If any of you weren't able to participate in the rolling coins movement to help pay for his medical costs, I urge you to make a donation.  I couldn't give much during the rolling coin drive, but I did what I could because I respect him as an elder and know how hard it is for a family when someone passes away due to cancer.  My aunt died at 40 from bone cancer, and it was an expensive ordeal, in part because she spent her last months at home with the help of Hospice.  Giving a tiny bit to his family is probably the best way to honor him as an ancestor at this point.

Isaac, I thank you for your influence and inspiration.  May you continue to guide us as an ancestor and may we honor you in all we say and do!

* "Very Important Pagan," of course!
** Bonewits was a practicing Wiccan, I believe, and also authored a book or two on the religion.  He was actually very educated on numerous forms of Pagan religion.  


[ Photo from ADF's website.  It was taken by Ava Francesca.]
( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Hospitality and Piety

I love having company over.  I so rarely get to see the people I consider my tribe, so it was a real treat to have friends visit.  We had a lot of fun in Alex Bay and Watertown, but we mostly stayed home for chatting, snacking, and playing copious amounts of games.  If only there had been more time for more fun.

Having guests is always a test of virtue.  I try my best and take pride in being a hospitable hostess.  I love to cook fresh meals and share my drink.  Hospitality aside, my piety to the Kindreds is also tested.

They are never far from my mind to begin with, and I pray a lot - especially before eating and while traveling.  Yet when people share my home, my routine is always a bit disrupted.  (Truthfully, it already was thanks to my infernal, cough-inducing allergies...)  My devotionals are shortened because I need to be a good hostess and it is too loud for me to meditate.  I am proud of myself for getting up and doing my full, formal ritual yesterday, but even that was not as usual because of my need to assist my guests.  I felt self-conscious chanting, as well.  I found myself whispering the songs.  It was not a very powerful ritual but I am glad to have done it.  I like showing the Kindreds that I care, and I think they understand the strained ritual when I so rarely entertain.

I believe that ritual, trance, and meditation aren't the only ways that we show honor to the Kindreds.  When we find joy with our tribe, treat others with love and respect, and celebrate life - even in a non-religious context - the Kindreds are there.  Strengthening bonds with the tribe is just as important as ritual on my Druidic path.


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Returned from the Faire!

Hello dear readers! I went away for a few days to visit some of the tribe and travel to the Sterling Renaissance Festival. Hubby and I go every year and always enjoy it immensely. As usual, Weretoad and I dressed up.  It was pirate weekend, but we dressed as ...  wealthy merchants?  Lesser nobles?  I dunno.  We wore nice outfits, how about that?  I wore the outfit my mum gave me.  It looked like this but in hunter green.  My husband wore his wedding outfit which looked somewhat like this but with hunter green accents rather than silver and Celtic knot embroidery.  I made us each pouches which I will display at a later date.


I purchased many lovely things.  I always save some money to indulge myself at the Renaissance Festival. I look forward to being more financially secure (if such a thing will be possible in the future) and buying a whole wardrobe or large pieces of home decor one day*.  Even when I cannot afford the luxuries, the numerous talented artisans annually inspire my imagination and encourage me to keep practicing.   

Anyway, I bought a miniature clay bowl for my traveling altar, two bottles of ink (one of green pigment and the other called "wine"), some echinacea root, witch hazel bark, coltsfoot, and rosemary incense.  My husband bought me a rose and an amazing sculpture to hang on our walls (Photo at left.  The sculpture was made by the talented Jason Bakutis).  It's supposed to be Bast but I don't get the Egyptian vibe from it.  When I saw it, I fell in love with it as a catsidhe or my personality incarnate**.  Art is all about interpretation, no?  Now I just need to figure out where to hang this beauty...  


We didn't see as many shows this time, which leads me to believe that we need to go twice next year.  There is just too much to see and do in one day.  I did, however, have an amazing discussion with the Earthcraftyr herbalist and self-proclaimed "ditch witch."  We talked about trance, flying ointments, different plants,  and connecting with nature.  I was so grateful that she took some time to share her wisdom with me.  I would love to take a class from her in the future.  




* "I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad..."


**  All the same, I used to be devoted to Bast in my eclectic Wiccan days.  She helped me through some rough times and started me on the road to being a strong woman.  I'll always be grateful to her for that.  We grew apart eventually; I guess she had taught me all I needed and I was sent promptly to the Gods of Ireland.  


( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

Lonely

So it seems like today is bitch day among many of my blogging friends.  Allow me to join the party, however briefly.  I could use a good bit of catharsis.

Basically, I'm feeling restless and lonely.  I'm excited to have found numerous nearby activities that I would be interested in: meditation classes, yoga, some belly dance, art classes, sustainability lectures, drum circles...  But the same old things get in the way of my participating: distance, sharing a car, my husband's work schedule, and concerns about the cost and impact of driving so much.  We live roughly 30 minutes from everything except for my place of employment.  When we moved here, my job was the only thing vaguely familiar to us and so we focused on the village it was located in.  The nearest city is 30 minutes away.  A lot of what we like to do is there, not to mention, my husband works there.  Needless to say, the car we share already does a lot of work.  It is such a pain trying to plan anything on a day he is working because it would either require multiple 30-minute drives or me staying out for hours and hours and hours.  Or the usual which is me staying home even when I wish I could go to some function.  Either way isn't fair to myself, the environment, our wallets, or our free time.  It's really frustrating.  The hope is I'll be able to get a second car in the fall.  It won't really minimize my guilt over the environmental impact*, but at least it will give me some mobility when he's working...  The North Country really needs a makeover to make transportation more eco-friendly...

We would like to move closer to the city so that we're in-between my place of employment and his.  We probably should have seriously considered it earlier in the year, but we didn't because we moved a lot last year and we're tired.  Not to mention, we're not financially prepared to move at the moment.  It would have been a big pain in the butt, so we renewed our lease for another year and will just have to deal with it.  Or get used to it...  The native-borns in Northern NY seem used to driving long distances to get anywhere.  I'm more used to it now, but it's still a pain in the behind.

The transportation issues impact my other dilemma: I'm really lonely.  I'm lucky to be married to my best friend, but besides that I feel like I have no social life.  Our work schedules hardly ever match so I spend a lot of time by myself just hanging around the house in my pjs.  Really glamorous, I know.  We do go out together, but there's only so much he wants to do.  He gets tired after a few hours and wants to go home.  I would be fine staying out half a day in the city just to have something to do.  I feel like I'm missing out on so much.  It would be nice to have a girlfriend up here to talk to and hang out with.  Weretoad made a good friend up here and he spends a lot of time playing games with him online.  I've not really connected to any of my coworkers and, frankly, it's hard for me to feel comfortable about trying.  I get along with them and can make small talk, but I avoid deep issues that really interest me.  Because my religion is so important to me and such a huge part of my life, it's really hard to be fully myself with people.  I get uncomfortable when people talk about popular Christian holidays.  I always feel like such an ass when I twist the truth just to avoid an awkward conversation with a coworker.  I loved hanging out with my pagan girlfriends Imagickat and Parallax back in Utica.  I was able to be myself and feel genuinely understood on multiple levels, even when we had different sets of Gods or cultural inspirations.  And it's not that I would only be able to feel comfortable with a Pagan; it's just really difficult to be the complete me around coworkers who may or may not make my life difficult thereafter.

I'm looking for friendship in the North Country but it's so hard to find.  When I have more regular paychecks again and a second car, I'm hoping to attend the workshops and classes I've been learning about.  Maybe I'll make a friend.  I've also thought about starting a Pagan Meetup but they cost money - something that's a bit tight currently.  I suppose I have to make some effort, though...

Alright.  Back to lounging in my pjs intermittent by cleaning.


*I do plan to walk and eventually bike more to work.

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )

As some of you know, I have two Facebook accounts.  Let me just say that the reasons are related to religion and privacy*.  One is dedicated to my Pagan focus and Pagan-accepting friends, and the other is for everyone else!  I received a friend request on my "real" account this evening from someone I went to high school with.  The name was familiar but she was not someone I associated much with and so her face had faded from my immediate recollection.  I looked at her photos and recognized the face but it was different looking - thinner and coifed by a bandanna or scarf.  All her photos were.  I looked at her info - links, wall posts - and confirmed that someone I graduated with has cancer.  I don't know where she is in her treatments at the moment...  but she is the first I know of from my graduating class.  It's sobering to say the least.  Things like this truly put life into sharp perspective.


* I should blog about this sometime...

( For My LJ Friends: http://adfcatprints.blogspot.com/ )